Pints and Picks Week 11: Road Trip!

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and what to drink while doing it. This week: Road Trip.

Kyle,

Holy cow! Have I got a Saturday planned.

So, about a half-decade ago, I fled Park City in my Forester with exactly $3.78 in loose change a half-eaten ‘neath-the-seat Slim Jim and an interior covered in Border Collie hair. The car finally broke down on the Central Coast of California and it’s here I’ve been living ever since—watching housing prices desperately try to keep time with the Bay Area as the job market floods with newbie Cal Poly polyglot brocoders each spring.

It has been, in other words, a long time since I’ve been both mentally and physically ‘back’ to Utah. But lo, a quarterly budget-centric, um, you know, examination of our credit card bill and my significant other (who moonlights during the day as an accountant) feels the $80/month spent on a storage unit windowless Airbnb rental near the Kimball Junction McDonald’s (#doubledrivethru) is a drain on both mental and monetary resource. It got to the point where I couldn’t even say the word ‘park’ without inducing a cringe-worthy cringe.

And so, she generously volunteered for 26 hours of solo parenting in exchange for me to go ahead and hop two states over to clean out my past. I agreed and decided it’d be a morning flight there and an afternoon flight back, with nary the time to make a lunch date in between; my tacit acknowledgement that this was an all-about-business trip.

But what of your stuff, she asked. I said I’d either drop it at the Park City thrift (where you can still score last year’s Bogner onesie for under $100…sequined and fur-lined and all) or carry-on/ship some of the more keepable keepsakes back. Nope. That was a no-go. I won’t bog down with the details or take my creative license to misquote the conversation (it’s already a sore enough spot) but I will say, to you and to our generous reading public, she is 100 percent right. That I didn’t just blow two grand to have a bunch of skis and half-tees sit in a shed only to let it flick away into the rarefied Utah mountain ether like a MGD wrapper skipping behind the Circle K Dumpster.

I could, in other words, be recovering the Ark of the Covenant or three giant bags of plastic spiders. It doesn’t matter. It’s coming home.

So, I present to you Kyle, the itinerary of my ballsiest/most comprehensive and audacious Western States road trip to date.

Saturday, Nov. 14:

6:15 a.m. — Check in at San Luis Obispo international (state one, Calfornia. Check). At SBP, there is a single airline agent who also checks your bags, puts ‘em on the plane, sells granola bars at the magazine rack and even works the Avis counter. San Luis Obispo is no hub and there’s always a connector to be had, but the longest I’ve had to wait to be scanned by the 92-years-young TSA agent waving the old-school wand is about three minutes…whether I have ID on me or not.

8:20 a.m. — Wheels down at PHX/Sky Harbor (state two, Arizona. Check)…Resist the urge to Uber it to the Coach House in Scottsdale to down a $4 morning pitcher of Coors heavy and pretend it’s Spring Training already during my two-hour layover. Note: Upon Terminal B to Terminal A gate switch OJ sprint, I had to pause and take a shot of this…yes, this awful goes down in AZ in fewer than two months:

Noon — SLC Int’l (state three, Utah. Check)…Pick up that azure Ford Focus and be on my way from the best airport in the world to ever get to pick someone up at: SLC features a waiting corral/parking lot with flight arrival times up on a big board so you don’t have to keep circling and can read a book instead.

12:28 p.m. — Quick detour off the 15 en route to the 80 to Epic Brewing Company on State Street. Epic can’t give you sample pours in their brewhouse because they’re all high-point suds. Clever blue laws Utah. In the five years since I left, Epic went from a single vat, double bro-with-beards operation in the shadow of the Temple to a pretty big Utah/Colorado macro-micro movement that sticks with its roots in providing not-too-hopnoxious flavors to the local climbers and riders. Can’t wait to clink clink clink out of there.

1:09 p.m. — Sunridge Perimeter Trailhead Snyderville, (suburban Park City) USA. Kyle, I can’t NOT go out and do a quick out-and-back on one of my favorite aspen-lined tacky single-tracks of all time. My lungs won’t be acclimated and I’m 10 pounds of baby weight not yet shed more than my last time out. But this is 50 minutes I’m going to take to stretch my legs, breathe in that pure Utah mountain cush and re-set.

2:05 p.m. — El Chubasco. (Translation: The Chubasco). If you’re ever around the Wasatch Back, be sure to check out the salsa bar that most salsa bars dream of becoming (hint: try the mango). Unfortunately, I’m taking this to go.

2:39 p.m. — Going all in for my own #storagewars. Everything that fits in the Focus comes with.

3:01 p.m. — Back on the 15 pointing south. Look out Provo, St. George, Northwest corner of Arizona…I’m coming down hawt. Setting the cruise control at a responsible 82 and looking for that sub 5 hour, 30 minute throwdown to state number four which is…

7:49 p.m. — Viva Las Henderson, Nevada. No, my math’s not wrong, I gained an hour getting back to PST. Second-half wagering on the Oregon/Stanford game at the Green Valley Ranch Sports & Race Book awaits.

*Beer Break*

Sunday, Nov. 15

6:14 a.m.— Bid farewell to my host family (former college roommates) and their three daughters and his kegerator. And get back on the 15 for the homestretch 420 miles. Barstow to Bako to SLO.

12:39 p.m. — Back at SLO int’l. Crack open an Epic and transfer gear from rental car to full-time car. Remember that no matter where you are, it’s there that you are.

My Picks:

Oregon +8/5 @ Stanford

Is this the wrong time to profess I had a dream this week that Oregon was leading 45-25 in the fourth quarter? I don’t believe much in dreams Kyle, so I’ll go ahead and talk about the things I’ve learned in the waking hours from watching these two Pac-12 North rivals:

1. Ducks’ OC Scott Frost is going down to The Farm for nothing less than a 3 hour 23 minute job interview for David Shaw’s gig. He’s got the Stanford pedigree (not to mention degree) and, you know, Ken Doll hair. Unlike Shaw, Frost doesn’t branch off the Harbaugh coaching tree but if the Stanford Tree needs a suitable sideline replacement next year to run the offense a bit more up-tempo, he’s the obvious choice.
2. Oregon D coordinator Don Pellum’s DBs are starting to learn how to turn around and find their place in space. Plus Stanford’s Kevin Hogan can’t throw the ball more than 15 yards. True sophomore/NFL-bred RB Christian McCaffrey is the Cardinal offense’s singular attraction and will be tougher to bottle than genie Shaq. Pellum will let the son of Sir Edward Thomas have his 35 touches and 220 all-purpose and key in on the wideouts and tight ends instead. Oregon is 105th in the nation on points/yards allowed per game, but of late has an answer along the lines of 660-plus yards of total offense per game (777 last week). However, with so much ‘explosive offense’ hype happening pre-game, I’m feeling Oregon/Stanford will take it into the locker room 10-3 at the half before the six guns come out in the third.
3. Oregon playcaller Vernon Adams is finally creating under center and he has shown the last three weeks that can be a dangerous post-graduate transfer when given a little wiggle room. Stanford’s D line is one of the better fronts in all of college football, but with Oregon’s chorus of five-star RBs starting to find their extra gears the Ducks could forestall the Cardinal from locking up that bid to the Pac-12 championship game for one more week.

SJSU +1 @ Nevada

The Spartans and the Wolfpack have transposed records (4-5 vs. 5-4) but San Jose State is a better team with a tougher schedule. Spartans’ running back Tyler Ervin is top two in the Mountain West in rushing yards (1,239) and total touchdowns (14). Of those 14 touchdowns, a dozen came on the ground and a handful are of the 20-plus yard variety. That’s gamebreaking speed that probably won’t slow much in the communion wafer-thin Reno air. The Wolfpack’s D-line is anchored by Ian Seau and Lenny Jones who know how to sneak into the backfield like it’s the buffet at the Peppermill. But once Ervin is sprung into the Pack’s secondary, it’s on.

Last week, San Jose State juco transfer quarterback junior Kenny Potter had the Spartans rolling in the first three quarters against BYU and was a PAT away from a tie and some overtime action at home. If the Spartans’ defensive front seven can similarly contain the increasingly dangerous Wolfpack RB tandem of James Butler and Don Jackson and apply their formidable pass rush to QB Tyler Stewart—who when the heat is on is less light on his feet than Gary Busey doing the Nae Nae!—SJSU should leave Mackay Stadium with a dust of snow on the helmet and a minor upset.

Minnesota +12 @ Iowa

Kyle, I gotta say Minnesota has been getting better every quarter in the bid to keep HC Tracy Claeys employed. A couple weeks ago, the Golden Gophers barely let Harbaugh and co. out of Minneapolis with a complimentary set of little brown jugs (which I only just now realized wasn’t a euphemism for over-spray-tanned strippers). Last week, Urban Meyer’s Ohio State Buckeyes looked like they were dying to let one slip in a really big way against the Gophers and their suddenly stingy D. For three-and-a-half quarters, the pre-season favorite to repeat looked like they were going to sleepwalk to their first L at home in a calendar year.

This week, it’s a different type of ____eyes the Gophers are attempting to derail. Iowa has the opportunity to be 10-0 for the first time in school history and is carrying a giant head of team steam into the CFP top four if this week’s SI jinx doesn’t create a ripple. The Grapple on the Gridiron event Saturday morning outside Kinnick Stadium should surpass 40k and all those folks queuing up at the cornfield to see a bunch of racist baseball players—and James Earl Jones—under the lights, have made their way to Iowa City.

Is this heaven? No, it’s a school that finally is in the spotlight enough to have an alternate uniform. Props to The Guy Who Looks Like the Guy Who You Want to Be Your Next-door Neighbor Iowa HC Kirk Ferentz for taking a shot back this week at Fox-sponsored bag ‘o wind Colin Cowherd and his brand of assured drivel infused with not-so-informed hatespeech. This, and the fact that Iowa can replace a vestigial SEC franchise during the January bowl miasma, is enough for me to root for them to get over, but just barely, on the Gophers.

Kyle, would you like to join me on the road?

AJ, 

I’m jealous of every aspect of your trip, save one. Dropping off a rental car is one of the most painful experiences known to man. OK, maybe not man who owns one of Carroll Shelby’s famed rides or some obnoxious one-percenter who waxes every weekend and bristles at watering restrictions, but the rest of us. Look, even if you opt for the Focus or a souped-up Go-Kart like an Aveo, it’ll nearly always have a nicer interior (and probably exterior) than your current whip. There’s no coffee stain on the front seat. Your dog hasn’t tracked 10 pounds of the world inside with her after countless trips to the beaches and trails and post office (where she always finds the most fascinating dead animal to roll in.) It’s almost always a product of the current administration’s auto policy and carries a music system that will make yours sounds like an eighth grade band concert. Cousin Michael learned all seven notes to Jingle Bells.

For a brief time in the sun, you get to drive the living shit out of a new car. I’ve never not repeatedly redlined a rental and really opened that sucker up. You’ve got a God-given opportunity to cover a lot of not-real-populated desert real fast on your way between the two intermountain meccas of Mormonism and Payday Loanism. I envy that most of all, and I’m not even a motorhead.

Onto the picks…

Oklahoma State -14 @ Iowa State

This may be more of a sure thing than the over on 60 in this game. Mike Gundy is firmly in ‘look-at-me’ mode with his 9-0 OSU charges this weekend. The team is on the outside looking into the playoff right now, so it’s vital they build their case in the most sadistic way possible in Ames against a sad-sap 3-6 ISU team coming off a throttling at the hands of Oklahoma. That means Gundy will be turning his quarterback JW Walsh loose both early and often and also late and frequently when the Pokes are up many, many points. The Cowboys need a(nother) statement after beating TCU last week. They also need so, so much insurance because a frankly unimpressively-scheduled Baylor Bears team plays a strong Oklahoma team on Saturday (more on that in a moment) before the two get together next week. If Baylor were to lose to the Sooners, big, bloody wins are going to be OSU’s best argument to lay at the feet of the playoff committee. A victory in Ames needs to be decisive, and I imagine that’ll happen.

Oklahoma +3 @ Baylor

Boomer! How did the 8-1 Sooners ever lose to Texas? That’s an enigma wrapped in a mystery. I can tell you how they’ll keep it real close on 8-0 Baylor and maybe even win. That’ll be by the Bears continuing their maybe-we’re-not-that-dominant trend. In the past four weeks, their margin of victory has dropped from 59 versus Kansas to 24 vs. WVU to 18 vs. ISU to 7 vs. Kansas State. OU’s Bob Stoops is both a slightly better coach and a man with far superior talent to the band-aids and walk-ons Bill Snyder rides to winning records every year. Art Briles’ bunch at Baylor just haven’t seen this kind of attack in Waco (<<S.E.O. S.E.O.!) Oklahoma hasn’t given up more than a touchdown in a road game since week 2 and they’re eyeing upcoming dates with TCU and OSU to bolster their playoff resume, too. I expect OU to come out on top.

BYU @ Mizzou +6.5

Everybody knows what happened at MU this week so I’ll spare our readers the re-hash. The key thing to remember is that Gary Pinkel stood by his guys, and then on Friday announced his impending retirement due to non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I like the idea of a siege-mentality team, even a 4-5 one, coming out to fucking play against a 7-2 Cougars team who last saw real competition before Hotline Bling dropped.

PNP Recap:

AJ:

Last week: 3 and 3 (need to bet the NBA more)

Overall: 17 for 28 (one tie)

Oregon +8/5 @ Stanford

SJSU +1 @ Nevada

Minnesota +12 @ Iowa

Kyle:

Last week: 1 for 3

Overall: 18 for 34

Oklahoma State -14 @ Iowa State

Oklahoma +3 @ Baylor

BYU @ Mizzou +6.5

Pints and Picks week 10: Nine picks and a Purple Rain reference

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and…a whole lot of references that take three reads to get—if only it were worth reading three times (like total. Like three total reads.)

Kyle,

Well, we’re in it now.

This is the 2:20 a.m. at the casino of the college football season for me. Expectations have turned to reality. Money has come and money has gone. The buzz turned to a full-on drunk and now I’m reconciling with those dirty first glances ahead to the next day sun. This is where a choice must be made. The horse that just bucked me is standing right there, waiting, black-eyed and sniffing, daring me to get back on. To me it’s like, I’ve got to even though I know I shouldn’t. Or maybe I’m just telling myself I should and that’s making me feel more one way. Redemption, morality—the thought that some day there is no horse and there is no hot late night and there is no morning to come and dark is dark—that I’m kind of in this hollow and rare space of being able to assert myself by simply making the decision to continue in spite of fact and reason and conduct code. In spite of everything, that space is happening now and oh isn’t it just the fucking best even at its worst.

This frenetic lie we tell ourselves; that aces are waiting at the back of the shoe, that answers can be found underneath the ice—that the cab will come when called and she’ll come back because she said she would—is just that. It’s the promise that it’s not as bad (it never is) as it seems and at the same time that we’re guaranteed another dawn, another 100 from the machine another blind staredown with the dealer whose comeuppance has nothing to do with how I’m doing but everything to do with what they leave with in their pocket divided by what got them there in the first place. They’re just like us. Just metal sparks from a rock hitting the same spoke.

Yes, Kyle. We’re in it now.

And you know that means…That means, SIX FUCKING PICKS this week. Blowing it out like Smash Mouth through a subwoofer. Pour another and give me a backer for my free hand because nothing should stand in the way of a man and his own 2 a.m. reinvention. It’s what we get up for in the first place.

Now go go go go!

AJ,

I’m ready to tackle a rhino after that pep talk, coach. Just point me in the right direction. After two weeks of a holding pattern we’re back into the fray. College football resumes its sprint like a 400 runner coming around that last turn. That’s the analogy I’d use for where we’re at.

We’re coming around the back stretch, when the focus on form and the patience of being as far as possible from your screaming teammates and fans starts to melt away. The back stretch of the 400 was always strange for me–like the most recent two weeks of the season–because you’re in the race but not really racing, you know. You’re just kind of making sure your strides are nice and long, and that nobody is pulling too much away from the pack while you sort out the final push.

My Michigan State Spartans were off on bye to rest up a depleted O-line. Oklahoma State polished the offense for TCU and Baylor in a three-week span. You pass the 200 start in turn three and start to steel yourself. Florida hammered on Georgia to establish themselves as THE force in the SEC East, for however much that’s worth. In that last turn, though, you hear the crowd and pass the 100 start and lose. your. shit. It’s life or death now. Alabama’s title hopes stop here if they don’t find a way to beat Les Miles in the Bayou. Your teammates scream to your left, the crowd on your right, and you’re focused like a laser on the kid in front of you and the footsteps behind. Notre Dame looks to a date with the best Pitt team in decades while Stanford digs deep for what absolutely has to be a flawless finish. Your mouth is wide open, you find that last kick and stretch…

That’s how I hope these next few weeks go. I hope everyone comes into the conference title games exhausted and still rolling at full-throttle. I hope this ends up like the last few weeks of regular season baseball in the NL Central and AL West–a full-on, it’s-him-or-me bloodbath. We both saw the rankings come out this week–some combination of Iowa and Michigan State or Ohio State will have to go through each other, ditto TCU and Baylor, Florida and ‘Bama or LSU, all while Clemson and Notre Dame try to do something they haven’t done much of in decades–finish.

AJ, I’m ready for the starter’s pistol. Who do you have coming strong out of the blocks this weekend?

Kyle,

Five of the six:

Oregon -7.5 vs. Cal

Some call it flip-flopping, some call it evolving. I don’t care if there’s a name for it but it goes something like this: Cal is starting to be Cal again and Oregon is starting to look like Oregon again. To me, this game at Autzen is going to be should-the-Ducks-go-to-the-Vegas-Bowl or should-the-Ducks-go-to-the-Holiday-Bowl moment of the season. I also think Oregon D coordinator Don Pellum’s job is riding on this game. Contain Jared Goff and limit Cal’s mighty gunslinger to 300 yards and three touchdowns (or fewer) and you get one more season to fill Nick Aliotti’s size-18 Nikes. Let the skidding Bears get their groove on at home and start asking if Monster is still around. The Ducks stole one in triple OT in Tempe but have had 10 days to get dialed and get healthy. The final should be sixty-something to forty-something, so take the over.

Washington +10 vs Utah

This is the week to take the dogs at home in the Pac-12. Like families at the end of a Disney Cruise, everyone’s had about enough of one another and have gotten sick off the chocolate fountain and is ready to go to their own, quiet zone in the division. Utah is showing signs of slowing while U-Dub is showing signs of gelling and finally buying into Chris Peterson’s brand of 19-year-old indentured servitude. A straight-up win in Seattle is what the Huskies are looking for this week. Utah QB Travis Wilson has been letting them sail of late and seems much more tired/less mobile than weeks one through three. In the meantime if Washington can bring the same (see: Peterson) offense that broke out for 49 last week against Arizona and get their secondary in gear up for college football’s most exciting Little Mac look-alike (Brit Covey) the 4-4 Huskies can steal one at home.

Pittsburgh +9.5 vs. Notre Dame

With the Irish trying to protect No. 5 CFP ranking and a playoff berth still in their crosshairs with only Stanford standing in the way Nov. 28, this Pitt matchup seems like the natural time for a letdown. I don’t place much credence in the past, but the fact that this game hasn’t been decided by more than a touchdown in a half-decade is telling. The schools are both 3-3 in their last half-dozen meetings and those games have been decided by (ready) a TOTAL of 27 points. Unranked Pitt ain’t half bad either. At 6-2 they’re one of the more overlooked top programs in the country and, oh yeah, Dan Marino (Isotoner season!) is Pitt’s honorary captain Saturday. Lock it up.

Minnesota +23 @ Ohio State

My one loss at the window last week was at the hands of Michigan refusing to show up against a very pumped-up Minnesota squad which seems to want to put a ring real bad on interim head coach Tracy Claeys. The Golden Gophers barely let Harbaugh and co. out of Minneapolis with a W after riding on the back of Prince’s bike and baptizing himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka (sorry, but I so resisted a Purple Rain all last week). Something about Minnesota’s play last week felt a little bit like a rough draft and I am starting to read a lot between Urban Meyer’s quotes. Granted, Meyer is a master of misdirection so either he’s: 1) Starting to feel not confident in his team and is trying to seem overconfident or 2) the reverse. “Our kids know that. Everybody we face, you’ll hear it’s their biggest game,” he said. -And- “I know this time last year we were 16th and I think everybody’s kind of, at least everybody in our profession is ‘keep going man’. There’s a lot of football (left).” So, who’s he talking about? You tell me. The Gophers kept Michigan at bay most of the game but Claeys and co. haven’t shown they can finish the double-knot before they start running. Either way, this one’s going to be too close for comfort in Columbus.

Michigan State -4.5 @ Nebraska

Kyle, I’mma let you have the descriptions on this one, but MSU wins by 22. Take first half wagering on this especially as Sparty promises to jump out to a two-score lead by the time they’re handing out orange slices and Capri Sun in the locker room.

*Deep breath.*

Kyle, that’s five. A bonus game for the kicker/sixth leg of my parlay. (Hint: it’s of the professional roundball variety).

AJ,

Diving right in:

Notre Dame @ Pitt +9.5

I like the 7-1 Irish to win this game because 6-2 Pitt hasn’t exactly looked convincing over the last two weeks in a squeaker of a W at Syracuse and a loss to North Carolina at home. I like Pitt to cover because even in their worst moments–against Iowa and NC–nobody has come close to covering nine on them, especially not against a hot ND team at Heinz Field where you can probably spot Pitt 4-5 points and work from there. Are the Irish -13 or -14 better than Pitt? Doubtful. You’re looking at strength-on-strength here when ND is on offense. Pitt Head Coach Pat Narduzzi has his Panthers giving up just 138 rush yards per game, 6.6 yards per pass and ball-hawking with the best of the best given their 13.1 yards per interception return on 8 INTs.

Nard-dog has playmakers on that side of the ball and isn’t afraid to use them. I think that’s the thing that keeps this contest close–probably not in Pitt’s favor, but close–for one of the sneaky-best matchups of the weekend.

FSU @ Clemson Under 55

Of 8-0 Clemson’s eight wins this season, exactly one of them is instructive: Their last-minute 24-22, hanging-by-one-pinky-off-the-cliff-nearly-Clemsoning victory over Notre Dame. The rest is just a bunch of ACC hooey including a dismantling of those profound posers the Georgia Tech Yellowjackets. What Clemson has is a prolific offense and defense that can get the job done. You can say similar things about the Seminoles but for one key difference: QB Everett Golson does not turn the ball over and the Tigers’ trigger man Deshaun Watson does. He’s thrown 7 picks against 20 touchdowns, while the much more conservatively-used Golson has just one pick against 11 touchdowns. Look for Clemson to employ Watson in much the same manner: RB Wayne Gallman will do most the work (even some on pass plays, where he’s seen his receiving duties increase in each of the last three weeks on short-yardage plays) and Watson will maybe get the reins in the red zone or on long-yardage situations. Ditto Dalvin Cook for FSU. Expect a tight matchup in Death Valley.

LSU +6 @ Alabama

Leonard Fournette.

(OK, Tigers QB Brandon Harris also opens up all sorts of options for Fournette with his increasingly-impressive passing: on just 11 completions last week he racked up 286 yards including a 67-yard bomb, topping his long plays of 52 and 62 in the two previous weeks, respectively. The kid needs an inch to take a mile.)

AJ, haul this fish into the boat.

Kyle,

Golden State Warriors -3 @ Sacramento

I know. I know. I know.

It’s the Golden State Warriors. The “My son, Luke Walton”-coached Golden State Warriors. The 6-0 defending NBA champs Golden State Warriors. It’s the first week of the NBA and nobody should give a shit…Golden State Warriors. Kyle, since you had to go throw down at a trade show in SF last weekend you saw the Bay Area’s fervor for a winner (sports bars tuned into October basketball instead of October baseball) and you know about Sacramento mayor (and former Phoenix Suns’ All-Star point guard) Kevin Johnson’s $3 billion (with a ‘b’) bet on downtown Sac with a new mini-Staples-style Golden 1 Center in the works, you may care a tad about this one. Maybe? What I care about is Warriors PG Steph Curry vs. Kings PG Seth Curry. That’s right. Double Curry = a lotta spicy (sorry). And even though the NBA (not to mention anything of the Kings’ marketing dept.) hasn’t quite figured out what to do with DaMarcus Cousins…who is to me the most-exciting player you’re not hearing about, mostly because SportsCenter doesn’t have his B-roll till everyone’s gone to bed in Bristol, the Kings have, in fact, earned this close spread. Draymond will D up DaMarcus and that alone is worth the tune in on your NBA.TV. Warriors still win by double digits in this NorCal matchup of record.

AJ:

Last week: 1 for 2

Overall: 14 for 22 (one tie)

Oregon -7.5 vs Cal

Washington +10 vs Utah

Pittsburgh +9.5 vs. Notre Dame

Minnesota +23 @ Ohio State

Michigan State -4.5 @ Nebraska

Golden State Warriors -3 @ Sacramento

Kyle:

Last week: 2 for 3

Overall: 17 for 31

FSU @ Clemson Under 55

Notre Dame @ Pitt +9.5

LSU +6 @ Alabama

Pints and Picks Episode 4 — The Fall Guy

Like what you heard?

P&P Podcast Episode 1

P&P Podcast Episode 2

P&P Podcast Episode 3

Pints and Picks Podcast Episode 3 — Coming Home

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P&P Podcast Episode 1

P&P Podcast Episode 2

Hey NCAA Let Them Play: Why Oregon’s Darren Carrington and Ayele Forde should be reinstated

Nobody ever accused the NCAA of being fair or in lockstep with the times.

After all, the official governing body of college athletics had to be drop-kicked into the 20th century in 1972 giving women equal any opportunity to play sports and not be discriminated against with Title IX. And the league’s brass still has the cojones to pretend they oppose gambling saying, “sports gambling threatens the well-being of student-athletes and the integrity of the game.” Because, you know, it wasn’t gambling that drew 28.2 million to the Rose Bowl or 28.3 million to the Sugar Bowl New Year’s Day. And nobody, least of all the estimated 35-plus million who turn into tonight’s National Championship game, has money on it.

But suspending two of Oregon’s top playmakers, redshirt freshman wideout Darren Carrington (165 receiving yards and two touchdowns against Florida State in the Rose Bowl) and special teams superstar Ayele Forde from playing in the first-ever National Championship game is downright hypocritical.*

Heres why:

• Marijuana is legal in Carrington/Forde’s current home state of Oregon: True, it’s on the NCAA’s banned substances list as a “party drug” (it should probably be in a new subcategory, “video game enhancer”) but now that marijuana is legal in Oregon, Colorado, Alaska and Washington, plus 20 other states for medicinal use, the NCAA needs to stop pretending that the substance isn’t as ubiquitous as Coors Light and Doritos (with fewer known side effects) on campus.

• The NCAA’s marijuana testing process is as dated as its rules around the substance: A positive marijuana test comes from a sample of more than five nanograms of THC per milliliter (that’s per 1,000 holmes). That means within six weeks of testing, if Carrington or Forde attended a party in Eugene where weed was being smoked (= every party in Eugene), sat in a seat at the Bijou theater, decided to take a deep breath upon hiking to the top of Spencer Butte or stood on the corner of 13th and Kincaid and watched the Green Tortoise pass—and then forgot to order up some Herbal Clean—they could well have submitted a positive test. Think about it in terms of drinking one beer and then having to wait a month to legally get behind the wheel. If the NCAA wants to be taken seriously, then it may be time to update the drug program in place when The Boz was referring to the organization as the National Communists Against Athletes.

• The punishment doesn’t fit the crime: The one-off testing after a bowl game will leave Carrington and Forde not only out for Monday’s championship game but, barring appeal, the entire 2015 season. The NFL increased its minimum threshold to 35 in September. The MLB’s minimum is 50 nanograms. Hell, the World Anti-Doping Agency allows a minimum 150 nanograms so Michael Phelps can toke away and still take home 8 golds (and still have room for Subway). There is taking a post-game hit and there’s spending all day in your room with the black light on watching Shark Week, eating a whole medium Track Town barbecue chicken and contemplating whether to try that listen to The Dark Side of the Moon while watching Wizard of Oz thing while sitting on a futon whose one short leg is evened up on a stack of old High Times. In other words, let the stoner punishment fit the stoner crime. The minute Seth Rogan can outrun the Florida State secondary like he’s got a stolen TV, the clampdown should be put on cannabis.

Until then, and in the immortal words of Bill Devane: LET THEM PLAY. LET THEM PLAY. LET THEM PLAY.

*As an Oregon alum, it would actually be downright disappointed if at least a handful of Ducks players didn’t have trace amounts of THC in their system at all times. It’d be like, I dunno, if Rennie’s and Taylor’s all of a sudden refused to serve minors who furnish acceptably passable fake IDs. Some school traditions should be sacrosanct.

The brilliant end of the Southeast’s stranglehold

The Ohio State vs. Oregon college football championship Jan. 12 in Jerry Jones’s basement game room is causing more heartache in football’s America than Papa John’s Fritos Chili pizza.

Because, well, it SHOULD’VE been Bama and FSU. The BCS WOULD’VE given us Bama and FSU. And two weeks ago nobody COULD’VE believed it wouldn’t be Bama and FSU.

Yet, the semi-final games were played and it’s very decidedly never going to be Bama and FSU.

That Nor’easter nipping at your neck is everyone west of the place that decided a president by the margin of a piece of confetti in 2000 breathing a collective sigh of relief.

And the crosswind is a pair of decisive victories by Oregon and Ohio State breathing life into the notion that a four-team playoff—at once incomplete in its infancy while adding heft to the notion college football is about as close to an amateur enterprise as amateur porn sites—is thus far working.

The decisive semi-final outcomes resulting in this unlikely pairing is such a disturbingly better match up than the prospect of a traditional Southeast-themed championship that it can only be the result a couple decades of gears turning toward college’s fringe, rather than sheer luck or fate intervening on Jan. 1.

Oregon, a program on the rise since Rich Brooks roamed the sideline and title sponsor Nike’s best-selling sneak was coined for a man named Penny, is still routinely maligned by the blubbery pundits as gimmicky; versus Ohio State, resurrected and spit-shined from the 2011 rubble of Jerseygate by one Urban Meyer—known from his Utah days to now as a little flavorful and gimmicky himself.

But these gimmicky West Coast-based blend (not bland) spread offenses and other erstwhile ignorable programs which color outside the margins and the hashmarks (think: Marshall, Boise State, Utah State, Baylor and TCU) will grow in number and remain venerable for the following reasons:

• The SEC’s patsy out-of-conference regular season schedule does come back to bite it (or at least took a chunk out of Vegas) during bowl season: Mississippi State, which was one game away from being named the second SEC team in the final four, was trounced by ACC also-ran Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl joining other top SEC programs Auburn (34-31 loss to Wisconsin in the Outback Bowl) and LSU (31-28 loss to Notre Dame in the Music City Bowl) in this year’s SEC bowl bust…a parade of futility whose grand marshal was Ole Miss. The school with a secession-era mascot less than two months ago stood tall with Bama and Mississippi State as three of the top five programs in the nation. Then they got waxed like Andy Stitzer by, who else? Final-four odd-team-out TCU. The 42-3 final score doesn’t take into account TCU suited up the band for the fourth-quarter SEC mercy rule and the Rebs still barely avoided a shut-out with a late field goal. On the bright side, new-to-conference Missouri does run a very fresh-looking offense under second-year coordinator Josh Henson. Though the Tigers lost to Bama in the SEC title game it was more at the behest of head coach Gene Mauk’s conservative play calling which loosened up ever-so-quietly as Mizzou took down the Golden Gophers of Minnesota at the Citrus Bowl.
• College football’s parity is just beginning to show not only because Oregon and Ohio State represent teams with progressive coaches who run progressive schemes, but because the regions slowest to embrace football as a track meet or ballet not a heads-down Smashmouth scrum are going to continue to lose. And by lose we don’t mean just 42-3, we mean lose athletes, lose alumni support, lose programs. The spread is quickly becoming the offense of choice of high school football because it plays faster, smoother and more athletic/watchable than the rendered fat amorphous blob of your grandfather’s single-wing attack. Well-publicized head injuries and the expense of equipment has dropped Pop Warner participation numbers almost 15 percent since 2012. Nutrition, conditioning, speed and sportsmanship are the new pillars of youth sports which doesn’t leave much room for molasses asses and barking coaches. Prep football programs will still cherry pick some of the school’s best athletes, but gone is the propensity to want to hit and be hit. Scrambling brains and sacrificing joints truncating careers in track, soccer and swimming—sports student athletes can more likely excel at at the next level—no thanks.
• Recruiting and appeal is no longer regional. The rest of the country, specifically the West, has quietly caught up with and surpassed the Southeast on defensive size and speed, offensive schemes, coaching prowess and practice facilities. Oregon’s current top two commits are from Missouri and Georgia and another five of their top 10 hail from Southern California including guard Zach Okun, skill position player Malik Lovette, defensive tackle Rasheem Green, defensive end Keisean Lucier-South and inside linebacker John Houston Jr. Stanford, USC, Washington, UCLA, Arizona and even Utah are ever closer to tipping the scales of in-state/out-of-state recruits to even, each taking big chunks from yesterday’s stay-home football states Texas, Florida, Alabama and Louisiana.

Still, it is a transition moment. And this year, to much of sports nation, the Buckeyes/Ducks sounds like an aberration, a great Holiday Bowl match up and not much else. But that’s the same “Oh, it’s just one comet” mentality that did in the first set of dinosaurs.

Recruits will continue to migrate to the West and regardless of tradition and a TV contract, the ONLY thing the Southeast has in store for the rest of the country henceforth is Sperry topsiders and blotchy frat guys screaming in the Gameday broadcast backdrop with crooked hats and half-empty Solo cups to house their beery tears.

And no, one disastrous bowl season combined with emergence of a four-team playoff does not spell the end for the biggest conference in all of amateur sport. What it does show is SEC has much more to prove in coming seasons than they’d like to admit. Without change, the very distinct, very recent memory of relevance could be the only salve as the search continues for a schedule replacement for University of Alabama-Birmingham 

A timezone stranglehold on an arcane cable highlight show no longer matters and neither does the old guard in a burgeoning meritocracy spawned by manifest destiny and the possibility of more than 700 really ugly uniform combinations per game.

Though it may already be too late for some storied programs because change—a college football first in the first year of a playoff—has already taken place.

 

When the Heisman winner is too good for the NFL

The emergence and prevalence of the system quarterback has taken hold in the NFL, albeit with some resistance.

By Andrew Pridgen

Alex Smith, a quick study by all accounts, took eight seasons of fine-tuning to switch from Urban Meyer’s spread option at Utah to the 49ers’ once-signature West Coast offense. Smith never really found his groove until Andy Reid implemented a sort of hybrid West Coast/zone-read playbook featuring familiar receiver sets and screen options for Smith in Kansas City.

Having learned from almost a decade of blown courtship, the 49ers’ current playcaller Colin Kaepernick was given a truncated pro style read-option playbook which is a spruced-up version of the rifle offense he ran at Nevada. Though questions linger around the system’s long-term efficacy, Kaepernick’s stumbles in his third full year as starter are more congruous with an aging and broken offensive line, a concussed running attack and an old, slow and agitative receiving corps.

Heisman winner Marcus Mariota’s effort at Oregon breaks with the prevalent wisdom that eighteen months is about all a college quarterback has to learn and lead ergo, playbooks should be distilled to the size of Tecmo Super Bowl’s. Recent collegiate standouts whose dearth of decision-making abilities under center were exposed as professionals include Christian Ponder, Blaine Gabbert, Mark Sanchez, Vince Young, Brandon Weeden, Brady Quinn and the irrepressible Jamarcus Russell.

Mariota’s weekly showcase of brain power seems all but guaranteed to steer him clear of the purple drank-coated path of self-destruction at the next level. He’s got a legendary drunk’s ability operate on autopilot while effortlessly making crucial decisions. He is able to manipulate Oregon offensive coordinator Scott Frost’s zone-read version of the spread from the line of scrimmage as he uncovers plot holes in defenses like a Grisham novel.

Having attained a gamer’s abstraction with the ability to toggle capable skill position set pieces, Mariota runs the Oregon offense more like half-court sets on the hardwood. His play is based on fabricating space from a cluster. It is a seemingly different game to watch Oregon flow on neon green compared to an SEC scrum where touchdowns seem more an accidental byproduct of a gelatinous moving mass. It is football as verse versus football to merely be tolerated.

At Oregon, Mariota’s recruiter Chip Kelly barnstormed his way through the Pac 12 with Popeye’s crooked smile and terse quips to the sideline girls during cutaways. Oregon faithful were wise to the joke, but the rest of the nation rejoiced when Cam Newton’s Auburn put the Ducks in check to take ownership of the giant BCS crystal ashtray in 2011. Kelly was able to thaw the hearts of Philly fans and their East Coast media apologists taking the Eagles from 4-12 to 10-6 his rookie NFL campaign and at 9-5 certainly hopes the division-rival Cowboys don’t stand in his way of another berth.

Cryptological imitators of Kelly’s giant placard play calls have spread throughout the West and into the professional ranks creating a new vernacular of gamesmanship and deception through images. Though this may be at times mere sideline spectacle, the preferred form on field is achieved. Running through four fast-break downs in under a minute is now de rigueur from the region that invented the drive through, the Showtime Lakers and the web browser.

But it has taken a soft-spoken, demure and sincere ambassador like Mariota to get the rest of the country to embrace this speedy ballet over the gridlocked dogpile. His work is beautiful and it was showcased beautifully in a town known for Pinot and track and trail and spring gardens and winter dark brews.

There’s a gray duvet of cloud cover that blankets Eugene eight school months a year, shielding its students and faculty from the rigors of the outside world and at once providing a world-class showcase for their own industriousness. The nearest metro, nesting ground of the horn-rimmed and hapless, is not so much a temptation as it is a living cliché two hours away. Phil and Penny Knight watch over their charges like stubborn helicopter parents providing them with ample resource and creating a pictorial narrative of life.

Mariota is the personification of this lifestyle. Sped up on the field and slow and droll and proud of his roots off it. There is a good chance he’ll end up in New York. Rumors of a brutal media there have shrunk in time to the city’s expectations of a winner (see: Carmelo Anthony). The outsized shadow of Derek Jeter is a crumpled wrapper skipping toward a sewer grate on 5th Avenue and a new aesthetic of what a sportsman can be is needed.

It is unfortunate, Mariota’s choice of football as his sport. It is also too late to revise. Professional football players are now built to more closely resemble last year’s Heisman winner Jameis L. Winston, troubled and talented and plagued by alleged this and thats. It’s a sport you no longer want to raise your child on. Its imminent demise aptly compared to the ubiquity, ruthlessness, hubris and eventual collapse of the tobacco industry.

A true system quarterback who was developed outside the system, perhaps Mariota’s masterful brush can help establish a new tradition of grace over junk in the professional ranks.

My guess is it won’t.

Pints and Picks: Conference Championship Week

Each week DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen will pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and what to drink while doing it. Here then, is their point-counterpoint for Championship Week—the last entry for the 2014 college football season.*

*For entertainment and bathroom reading purposes only

AJ: Well, here we are championship week Kyle. Barring any bowl game special-edition PNP (which is actually likely, bowl game spreads tend to give week-one odds—wide open), this is our swan song for the 2014 college football season.

I just wanted to take this second-graf moment and say a special thank you for sticking in there the entire season (sorry Kyle, that was directed toward the readers). Reading three thousand words/week on Central Michigan’s 3-4 and Utah’s speedy DBs garnished with flowery opines on the best burger/brew combo in Salt Lake is no small task. But there were at least double-digit loyalists to this feature and for that I am ever-so-grateful.

And you too Kyle. I know your expertise was sometimes lost in the fray of my verbose meanderings—that plus you got off to a slow start …but you hung in there and are on pace to end up with a winning percentage north of .650. You can take that (literally) to the bank. Or, for those of you who played along with Mr. Magin, had you seeded yourselves with a grand at the beginning of the season and bet $50 per pick, you’d be banking close to $2,500 now. That’s not bad beer money.

My picks will come around the horn, but for now, a few takeaways from the season that was:

• Is it FCB or FCS?
• I don’t need to waste my time railing (even more) about the playoff system here (you can read about it here or here) but I will say, after a year of watching steady, college football is a professional enterprise run by professionals, played by professionals and marketed by professionals. There’s nothing amateur-hour or student-athlete about the top NCAA programs. Pretending otherwise is a disservice not only to the coaches, staff and schools, but the fans and especially the players. Installing a playoff system is the definition of professional. It’s time for the NCAA to start paying its athletes. The long-term negative physical manifestations of the game and mental and emotional ramifications are well-documented and well-publicized in the NFL, but what of the college athlete who suffers the same side-effects twenty years down the road and has nothing—no pension, no settlement, no union and zilch in the bank, to show? Just a pair of dusty cleats and some Nike shit to go along with his broken marriage and pay day loans.
• Though we inundate this space with inside jokes, craft brew recommends, dated references to dead sitcoms …not to mention picks in the voice of James Franco, this feature is—at its core—about sports betting. This year, the state of Nevada alone will put more than $25 billion of sports wagers on its books. You can pretty much quadruple that number nationwide for under-the-table or otherwise unaccounted-for gambling on sports. This year’s domestic box office total was $8.6 billion. So, yes, that’s one-third of wagers and that includes Guardians of the Galaxy AND Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Though figures are not formally released, wagering on amateur athletics (including the NCAA tournament and bowl season) accounts for more than one-third of all intake: See: above for why college athletes should get paid.
• So, no. This isn’t a charitable enterprise and real dollars are being won and lost. Fortunately, for both Kyle and myself, we ended up on the plus side this year and though we take our knowledge, research and our picks seriously, we sincerely hope if and when you do wager, you do so for entertainment. If it goes too far, here is the GA website. It’s worth a look if for no other reason than they have an image of a woman on their homepage not some guy with a goatee and a Coors heavy doing his best Stephen Dorff with an e-cig.
• Was I sent a friendly form email from an attorney from a regulatory organization that reminded me to remind readers that a regular feature based on betting is for “entertainment only”? Absolutely.
• And finally: There is a lot of parity going on in college football right now (see: The SEC getting popped in the face by the ACC during the season’s final week). Kyle bet early and often on small program or second-tier division matchups. He proved that not only was the quality of football played there exciting, but the spreads were easier to call. That being said, if we truly do have to live with a four-team playoff, I would be bereft if there wasn’t one representative from each: the SEC, Pac-12, B1G and the ACC. A two-loss Oregon, Arizona, Alabama, Missouri, Wisconsin, Ohio State or Michigan State would wreck shop over a Baylor or a TCU. There’s still a difference in competition between the big conferences and, as a traditionalist, a Baylor/Florida State Rose Bowl just isn’t how I want to spend my hangover New Year’s Day.

My picks in a minute, but first …your PNP overall take winner, Kyle Magin:

Kyle: AJ, I’ll join you in thanking our readers, profusely. I’m lucky enough to be creative and write from time-to-time at my work, but this is hands-down the most fun writing I get to do. For somebody else to get some joy out of it, too, is the dream. So a heartfelt thanks to you. And yeah, don’t become an inspiration for an ‘if the fun stops’ advertisement.

When you get too worked up about a betting loss and entertain the idea of chasing/hedging, just remember that when betting sports, you’re guessing that some old guys in Vegas who literally do nothing but watch sports with the express intent to make money off of you–with your full-time job, family/girlfriend, dog and hundred other minute-sucking endeavors–are beatable. Nevada’s sports books didn’t have one. single. bad. month. during the recession. Gamble a little bit and have fun with it, because these guys don’t lose consistently.

A lot of the thanks for any success I had this year goes to you AJ. Readers–this site’s proprietor is taking some chances to provide you with loose, fun and above all, interesting and valuable content. You just don’t get picks on the MAC or Mountain West anywhere–a lot of sites funnel you straight toward the bluebloods and give short shrift to the non power conferences. AJ gives free reign to go find the value picks wherever they are and that’s definitely worth your time on a Saturday morning before hitting the book.

On that note, we’re in deep shit at the ‘mid-major’ level in college football. Just this week, Alabama-Birmingham tapped out of the big-time college football game, citing costs. Most teams heading to bowls will lose money on that trip, and we’re quickly reaching a point where the Power 5–the ACC, Big 10, Big 12, Pac-12 and SEC–are going to be the only programs who can clear a profit thanks to their mega-TV deals.

Marshall nearly went undefeated this year and may end up in something called the Heart of Dallas Bowl on Christmas Day for a piece of a $1.2 million conference payout. Meanwhile, SEC headman Mike Slive makes nearly a million more than that a year when you figure in his salary, incentives and bonus. Without some drastic change we could be nearing a day when the Power 5 is all you get–no more tailgates in front of Waldo Stadium in Kalamazoo, no more howling with the Wolfpack in Reno and no more having five seats to yourself at Qualcomm while the Aztecs do whatever they do while you watch their co-eds play hey mister.

On a less-serious note, the universities of Florida and Nebraska just made new coaching hires, Michigan is in the hunt (maybe for a certain Santa Clara-based employee) and the Baylor Bears were on the front page of ESPN’s website this week. The new era in college football aint all bad.

Alright AJ, take it away.

AJ: Wow. We’re still two months out from Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. Not to prolong the bro-hug but I completely agree that mid-level college football is shrinking up on itself and I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.

I know a lot of folks who skied for UNR’s legendary program (35 all-Americans, one recent Olympian—both summer and winter games) and yet, the students in the summer of ’09 were left $124,995 short of the $125k/year it takes to ramble around the West in a broken-down van bumming wax off Swix reps.

Meantime, the Wolfpack football program still eats up the balance of the school’s non-Title Nine-apportioned budget. It’s a conundrum. Pay a disproportionate amount of the school’s budget to attempt to stay competitive in the shadow of a corporate machine like Oregon, or turn your back on the gridiron and dim the stadium lights for good.

For me, the notion that a successful football program can carry other sports is a myth. As Kyle pointed out, oftentimes it’s more outlay for a school to go to a second- or third-tier bowl game than the return—both monetarily and exposure.

And while I do root for the Dukes and the Marshalls and the Boise States, the reality is the bottom line might not reflect kindly on keeping even successful football programs at most schools if audited …but that’s a column for a different day.

And now my picks:

Arizona +13.5 vs. Oregon

Oregon is 7-for-7 and has beaten the spread every time since losing to Arizona on Oct. 2. They’ve shown they can put up massive amounts of points against anemic defenses at Levi’s Stadium of Great America and yet, I don’t like them to win this by more than a score.

RichRod’s Wildcats are the only squad standing in the way of the Ducks and a college playoff/Rose Bowl berth, but they’ll be ready to play (and presumably to play the Pac-12 out of top-four contention with a win). So much has been made of the health of Oregon’s O-line and while they’re in better shape than October, center Hroniss Grasu is still out for Friday’s matchup.

It’s more about Oregon’s revitalized secondary and Mariota’s ability to hang in the pocket one more second and use his scalpel. If he gets that extra tick, obnoxious Duck fans can start ordering lanyards and booking spray tans, but I like AZ to keep it close.

Georgia Tech +3.5 vs. Florida State

It’s silly to think that Florida State won’t fall behind early only to come back to win by a field goal. They’ve basically done that 28 times in a row.

That’s why I like that .5 and the Yellow Jackets continuing their five-game win streak against the spread. If the line falls below three on Friday, take FSU …if you can bear it.

Mizzou +14.5 vs. Alabama

The Tigers are still the SEC team that everyone in the SEC West (I always snicker at that) pretends isn’t an SEC team. Missouri at 10-2 and winning five of their last six against the spread is a strong pick to keep it close against Bama in the Georgia Dome.

After giving up 44 to Auburn during rivalry week (the only SEC game that’s been worth watching thus far this season), the Tide will probably be playing a little tighter so look for Missouri to take an early lead. Bama is horrible against the spread this year (beating it only three times) and Missouri could spoil any argument for the SEC being in the championship round of four forever and ever with a sneaky W.

I’m going for it KM: Missouri and the moneyline.

Ohio State +4 vs. Wisconsin

I’m having a really hard time with this game:

1. I hate the fact that it’s not MSU vs. Wisconsin
2. Ohio State’s down to its third-string QB which for other schools might be a problem but for the Buckeyes, I’m pretty sure they could give the flugelhorn player a mouth guard and a pair of shoulder pads and have him hand off the ball and drop back to soft toss a bunch of 3-yard Urban Meyer specials underneath for a solid 24 points
3. I’m not sure how good Wisconsin is. They’re somewhere between better than everyone else ever and worse than Washington State on the road.

Ohio State is four-point dogs and should be in the final four. They’re six of their last seven against the spread and I have to believe the real Wisconsin (good, but easily intimidated) will show up Saturday.

Buckeyes win by a safety.

Kyle: AJ-I’ve actually got a ‘yeoman farmer’ vision for the future of mid-major football. You only play schools in-state or an adjacent state. Playoff games are at home until the big one. You ramp down to a less obnoxious 9-game schedule and we don’t have to deal with Mississippi smacking the shit out of Austin Peay in week 9. You can actually afford to field a water polo team, an xc-skiing squad and jerseys for the baseball team that don’t have residual mullet-sweat baked into them.

OFF THE SOAPBOX, MAGIN. Onto the picks!

Northern Illinois @ Bowling Green under 63.5

I had the misfortune of watching NIU (10-2, 7-1 MAC) curb-stomp Western Michigan in Kalamazoo last week, coming back from down 21-17 at the half to win 31-21. BGSU has been whalloped by every decent squad they’ve seen this season and ended up in the #MACtion title game because the Eastern division was so, so bad. That said, NIU’s been under in 9/12 tilts this season including pretty much every ‘name’ game they’ve played. The score stays below Vegas’ predictions tonight in Detroit.

Ohio State vs. Wisconsin -4

AJ, I’m breaking with you here only because this would be such a B1G thing to have happen. Your standard bearer gets near the playoffs and goes down in flames, leaving the door open for some sunshine-y state school to come on in. Buckeyes now-starter QB Cardale Jones throws a spectacular long ball and is a big, physical kid, but Wisconsin has the fourth best defense in the country (they give up about 16 points per) and they totally bottle the long ball. That means Jones has to make a living with those ‘Urban Meyer specials’ you alluded to without the realistic threat of even a mid-range out. That puts a lot of pressure on an outstanding run game, but one that Wisconsin can match with the output of star RB Melvin Gordon. That’s a lot of ball control for a newbie QB to overcome.

Mizzou +14.5 vs. Alabama

Tigers coach Gary Pinkel has walked into the SEC and acted like he belonged from day 1 (16 league Ws in the last two years), to the chagrin of every Finebaum caller in Dixie who predicted Mizzou would be at the bottom of the barrel for a generation. He does it by playing exceptionally greedy (12 interceptions) and stingy (opponents converted less than 3/10 third downs in November) defense. Those are all things you can say about Alabama’s Nick Saban, and Saban does almost all of them better. But, I don’t think the Tide do them better enough that they’ll cover.

Fresno State at Boise State -23

The Broncos (10-2, 7-1 MW) are clearly, clearly the class of the Mountain West in the title game showdown on the Smurf turf. They’re also clearly better than Fresno (6-6, 5-3) as they demonstrated in a 37-27 win  in the Central Valley earlier this year. That game actually marked one of only two times in the last 14 meetings that the Bulldogs covered against BSU. The Broncos missed some shots in the red zone in that game and the number to look at is the 492-313 total yards matchup and the 24-14 doubling-up on first down versus Fresno. In front of a home crowd you’re going to see all of those opportunities converted against a team that’s just happy to be relevant in December.

AJ: Phew. That’s a wrap folks. Thanks for reading. And remember: When the fun stops, there’s always the weird rotary-dial phone machine thingy next to the Casino Ca$h ATM to dial up a credit card advance.

The PnP Recap:

Last week:

AJ: 6-8

Kyle: 3-4

Overall:

AJ: 27 for 42

Kyle: 21 for 31

This week:

AJ:

• Georgia Tech +3.5 vs. Florida State
• Mizzou +14.5 vs. Alabama (Mizzou and the moneyline!)
  
• Arizona +13.5 vs. Oregon
• Ohio State +4 vs. Wisconsin (Buckeyes and the moneyline!)

Kyle:

• Mizzou +14.5 vs. Alabama
• Wisconsin -4 vs. Ohio State
• Fresno State at Boise State -23
• Northern Illinois @ Bowling Green under 63.5