Dean Spanos, Trickster God, is trying to get San Diego to build him a very big, very empty house of lies

Dean Spanos is trying to pull off a cheap trick for his hail Mary to keep the Chargers in San Diego. Below, the three major ways the billionaire is trying to bamboozle everyone in the whale’s vagina.

Written by Kyle Magin

Giving a billionaire hundreds of millions of dollars to build a professional sports stadium is like introducing Ryan Gosling to a girl at a bar.

You don’t need to help a billionaire pay for anything.

Yet, again and again around the world, and especially in the U.S., municipalities hand over hundreds of millions of dollars to billionaires to build pro sports stadiums that most directly benefit those billionaires. Study after study shows the benefit to taxpayers is negligible or even negative.

That’s why human representation of the Paiute coyote trickster god, San Diego Chargers owner Dean Spanos, is trying a little sleight of hand to get America’s Most Beautiful City’s taxpayers to hand him $550 billion to buy land, build a new convention center on it, and, oh yeah, also a new stadium for his team. The proposed $1.5 billion complex’s price tag includes the land ($200 million from the taxpayers), the convention center ($600 million from taxpayers) and the football stadium ($350 million from taxpayers and $350 million from Spanos, plus $300 million from the NFL in the form of a loan and a grant.)

Spanos’s cute way of getting taxpayers to cough up most of the cash is to correctly point out that they need a new convention center, attach his modernistic herpes sore of a football stadium to that venture, and source the funding from a four percent increase in the city’s hotel tax. That way, Spanos can say he’s getting visitors to pay for his new stadium and not his neighbors, who should be really happy to tell to him fuck off if this thing falls through.

Below three more very good reasons San Diego shouldn’t be fooled into putting a giant desk drawer-looking thing that gets used for a total of 26 hours/year on near their waterfront:

1) This is still a tax increase on San Diegans.

San Diego’s tourism industry employs one in every eight city residents. It generates $18.3 billion in economic impact for the city, and $192 million annually for the city in hotel tax revenue (the transient occupancy tax, or TOT, which sounds like a good way to grift drifters). When you tax that industry to build a stadium that will be used 10 times a year for its main purpose, you’re robbing money that would otherwise go to paying for cops, firefighters, teachers and parks departments. Saying that out-of-towners will pick up the tab on the stadium willfully ignores how basic economics works in a tourist town.

2) San Diego’s new convention center will be cheaper without a football stadium.

There is exactly one thing that San Diego needs in Spanos’s proposal: a new convention center. Events like Comic-con–admittedly the biggest, but the city hosts hundreds of conventions annually–are agitating for a new, waterfront convention center that can handle bigger crowds. Adding a giant-ass football stadium pulls that convention center further inland in service of, again, ten dates as opposed to the 120ish the convention center draws presently–presumably that number would rise with more elbow room.

Adding the corresponding tax increase for an extra $350 million to drop on a stadium robs Peter to pay Paul. Tourists won’t pay ever-increasing hotel taxes just to hang out in San Diego. Watch them flock out of the city to North County or Orange County or any number of desert, Atlantic and Gulf coast towns that can roughly approximate San Diego’s weather without its potential 17-plus percent hotel tax rate. If they do come, that extra four percent will be vacuumed out of the wallets of waiters and bartenders, t-shirt shops and boat tour operators. Visitors won’t magically have more money to spend.

3) Spanos’s proposal contains a ton of fat–add what you need and cut the rest.

The proposal will come to a public vote that will either need a 2/3rds majority this November or 50 percent plus one, depending on how successful Spanos’s army of lawyers can be. San Diegans should vote it down with extreme prejudice and demand a more sensible convention center-only deal. As a general rule, get yours and don’t help rich dudes get richer.

 

You’re not losing a NFL franchise as much as you are gaining civic pride…and tax dollars: Hurrah for San Diego

If a NFL franchise leaves a major metro and nobody cares …does it make a noise?

By Kyle Magin

When you check in on San Diego 8 or 18 months from now, when Chargers owner Dean Spanos and his team finally decide to leave town, don’t be surprised to find out that nobody in that fine burg much cares that they’ve been left behind by the biggest sports league on Earth.

In fact, don’t be surprised if they don’t see it that way at all.

The Chargers and the NFL are cellulite on the thighs of America’s most beautiful city. They played in a dumpy stadium far outside downtown, nestled between strip malls and inexplicably expensive housing developments with names like Sudden Valley.

The league terrorized and turned its back on one of that metropolis’s favorite sons in Junior Seau, leaving him to blow a hole in his chest at the age of 43 so his damaged head would be preserved for science.

SAN DIEGO, CA – FILE: Junior Seau #55 linebacker for the San Diego Chargers watches the offense work versus the Seattle Seahawks in their preseason game on August 16, 2002 at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California. According to reports May 2, 2012, Seau, 43, was found dead in his home in Oceanside, California. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

The team, under Spanos’ direction, asked the city and county to cough up hundreds of millions from its coffers so the billionaire could re-home his underachieving outfit with other people’s money, making profit realization all the more expedient.

Literally nothing about the team or the league for years has been loveable, personable or fan-friendly. The city’s reasonable $350 million offer (Read: paltry, in the eyes of Spanos and the NFL) to help finance the team’s move to a new stadium was deemed not to be enough for the Chargers, who want their cake and would like to eat it, too. And then help themselves to a piece of yours.

Parting with the NFL is in fact the sanest move any municipality can make, especially when they’re asked to foot the bill. So when you see San Diegans enjoying their ocean-side parks, their fabulous downtown baseball stadium and their warm fall Sundays sans a football team later this year, don’t wonder how they’re getting along, wonder instead how you can get a piece of that contentment.

Who can you ask to screw off when he wants your city to spend money it could be using to build parkways, parklets, beaches and amphitheaters?

Whose moving van can you help pack for the next time they threaten to leave because their 30-year-old venue doesn’t have suite windows tinted darkly enough to do cocaine behind?

Who can you make a laughably ungenerous offer to when they want to see what the public can do to help out with the new digs they’d like to make billions of dollars on without spending their own money?

What oligarch can you happily purge from your city’s rolls by refusing to do business with the NFL on its terms?

I personally can’t wait for the next time the Ford family asks the City of Detroit and the State of Michigan for public money to finance their culturally worthless franchise. I may even move back to the Great Lakes State just to pop a cork when we use our newly found backbone to tell the Lions to take a hike if they think they can get a better deal elsewhere.

The loss of a public welfare-seeking NFL franchise and all of its accompanying baggage in 2016 is cause for celebration, not sadness.

Envy San Diego for all of its million advantages, but especially this week because they get to tell a billionaire to take his ball and go to LA.

Pints and Picks Week 3: The Mormons love LA and Heineken brings its end-of-wedding-reception skunkiness to the microbrew masses

Each week, during college football season DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and what to drink while doing it. Here, the boys are talking about Mormons gone Hollywood, Randy Newman’s ironic love for LA and how that microbrew you’re drinking is made in the same vat as that Colt 45—works every time.

Here, ready to throw for 4,200 (words)…Kyle Magin

AJ,

Sit down and strap the hell in. College football embarks on its first real batshit weekend of the season Saturday. In a microcosm of the sport itself, the week 3 punctuation mark lands in the Rose Bowl with BYU’s visit to UCLA.

It’s pretty intoxicating for the city to be the epicenter of college football–USC is home against Stanford, meaning two top-10 teams and three top-25 teams will play in LA Saturday. As the NFL closes in on the city, it sort of feels like one last garden party before the new, tricked-out pool with a swim-up bar and loud music comes to the back yard. Even if it’s stupid nostalgia and the football factories in Westwood and South LA are every bit as greedy and consuming as any pro franchise, it’s comforting to know the city’s best will be lacing them up for coeds and aging alums in historic venues rather than CEOs and brawlers in a Jerry World knockoff.

And, AJ, speaking of coeds, Song Girls or the UCLA cheer squad? I’ve been studying photos all week and can’t decide. I have a natural antipathy to SC because they’re SC–home of drunk Sark and OJ and the Bush Push and, maybe worst of all, SC fans. This will require at least a few more hours of deliberation. I’ve ordered some posters to enter into evidence.

In the meantime, my only real bitch about week 3 is the slow start. The 9 a.m. PST games are a bore–the kegs n’ eggs matchup in College Station between A&M and Nevada might hold the most interest with Wolf Pack headman Brian Polian returning to take on his mentor in the Aggies’ Kevin Sumlin at Kyle Field. That’s a stretch though. I know they’re competitors, but do CBS and NBC really need to run Auburn-LSU and Georgia Tech-Notre Dame opposite one another in the 12:30 PST slot? Game theory, gents, Game Theory.

Alright, AJ, over to you…

Kyle,

I was going to hit you with my Newmanesque (Randy, not Paul) love for LA and why it is the center of my sporting universe, but instead—a housekeeping item:

The prominent pachyderm in the place comes in the form of mostly ignoring the pints section of this featurette thus far this season (both on the page and in the podcast). Also apologies for the alliteration. To me the whole craft brew age has, like the city of Yorba Linda, been swallowed up with corporate intent and now suffers under the tyranny of greed. Beer fanboys who started brewing in their kitchens as far back as the early ‘90s are now seen as cash cow saviors for the shrinking macro-brew industry.

Last week my hometown brewery Lagunitas, once famous for its Undercover Investigation Shut-Down ale—named after a 2005 marijuana bust at the local plant during its legendary Friday afternoon tasting/release parties, not only announced it’s opening a second plant, LA and a third, Chicago, by 2017—but it’s also doing so after having partnered with a foreign skunk beer baddie. More on that in a sec. Lagunitas produced 600k barrels of beer last year, up from 400k in 2013 and will eclipse a million next year. They are the sixth-largest “micro” in the US and so…it was only a matter of time before the brewery that has sponsored every last trip to the bar at the end of the wedding reception—Heineken—would jump at a chance to merge.

While the macro-brew industry has shrunk about 5 percent each year for the past decade, mega craft brewing has swelled about 25 percent year over year for the past half decade. It is currently a $20 billion enterprise domestically and the big guys are no longer eschewing IBUs and hand-drawn labels.

Whether it’s 10 Barrel Brewing Co. in Bend (InBev snapped up ‘em last year) or surfer-bro-crafted Saint Archer out of San Diego (MillerCoors gulped them down in August), the foamy fringe is getting scooped up faster than drunk girls outside the club at 2 a.m. by a recently dumped Uber driver.

Others, Utah’s Uinta (The Riverside Company), Atlanta’s SweetWater brewing (TSG Consumer partners) and Colorado’s can-generation OGs Oskar Blues (Boston’s Fireman Capital Partners), went the private equity route.

My current backyard big craft player, Paso Robles-based Firestone Walker Brewing Co., New York’s Ommegang and Kansas City’s Boulevard Brewing all recently fell to Belgium’s Duvel Moortgat.

Add ‘em up and you’ve got very few options left on the store shelf that are still in classic single proprietor/beer-lover/maker mode.

Lagunitas owner Tony Magee, self-appointed spokesman of the basement bro brewer generation, once decried similar sell-outs. “If you look at the biggest American brewers, they are owned by bankers now,” he said last year in an interview.

Now he and his craft ale—are part of the problem.

Kyle, other than New Belgium (employee owned), Eugene, Oregon’s Ninkasi which recently told Anheuser-Busch to fuck off, and a handful of plucky winners: Alibi in your own four-season playground comes to mind as does BarrelHouse on the Central Coast and Point Loma-based Modern Times—there isn’t much left that isn’t brewed in the same factories and vats as your pop’s old Michelob in the sexy curvy bottle with the enticing gold foil.

That’s why, in honor of my father and every macro-micro brew this week, I am going to kick it full-time live with some good old-fashioned Michelob Lager. The Lincoln to Budweiser’s Ford, it’s smooth and malty sweet. You can drink a dozen and avoid a hangover with a handful of 3 a.m. Totino’s Pizza Rolls and you will never, ever—get a sideways glance for rolling up your sport coat sleeves and belting out the fact that tonight, tonight, tonight…it’s on when there’s a Michelob in your hand.

Fear not, the pints part of us will never go away, intrepid window monkeys. Drinking foamy malted goodness goes with gambling and good decision-making like Johnny Depp goes with guyliner. So, as good book placement goes, we’ll never be too far from the taps at the bar.

OK Kyle, cheers to that. And I’ll see you on the other side of this swill with my marquee pick: Cal v. Texas.

AJ,

And a hearty cheers to you. TBH, I’m not a great beer expert, so that may be why the ‘pints’ portion of our eponymous post pales in comparison to the picks (I see your alliteration and raise you.)  I have recently been inundated with Founder’s All Day IPA at multiple summer weddings. It’s perhaps the most accurately-named microbrew in existence and doesn’t rely on any fart-sniffing punnery to get it done. You can literally drink All Day from cocktail hour to last call before you scamper off to the bathroom because they’re playing a slow song and you’re too sweaty to convince another wedding guest to slowly turn in circles with you. The offering from Grand Rapids, Michigan’s Founder’s brewery combines the things you really like about an IPA–a little bitter with a nice citrus pop and light flavor–without any discernible aftertaste. That’s exactly what makes it dangerous, it’s buttoned-up enough to make you think you’re safe, then you’re teaching your mom and aunt how to whip it and nae nae on the dance floor. Celebrate All Day, but in moderation and carefully-chosen company.

Speaking of carefully-chosen, that’s pretty much exactly the opposite of BYU’s schedule (I give that transition a 6.5) this season. Look at this and tell me a half-hearted masochist didn’t put it together:

@Nebraska, vs. Boise State, @UCLA, @Michigan, vs. UConn, vs. East Carolina, vs. Cincy, vs. Wagner, @San Jose State, @Mizzou, vs. Fresno State, @Utah State.

No sane coach would purposefully schedule his lads to play four bowl contenders (without a bye) including three on the road to open the season. No respectable program would force its fans to watch four straight snoozers at home to follow that up. The back third of the schedule is the only part that kinda makes sense once you get past defending SEC East champs Missouri taking a whack at the Cougars late in the season. I’d launch into my ‘going independent was a roundly stupid decision by Mormon U’ screed but it wouldn’t land because through two games the Cougs have played the schedule like a harp. They took on a B1G west division contender (in fairness, a little girl and her bunny rabbits would be a dark horse there) and came out with a Hail Mary win, then did the same in Provo. Winning two games in the first four looked damn near impossible at the start of the season, and now the Tanner Mangum-led Cougs are a respectable loss away from being a slight dog to a slight favorite in Ann Arbor in two weeks. Hell of a sport.

Now, I realize that ‘respectable loss’ is anything but a guarantee. UCLA is likely this win away from being the most-buzzed about team in the country and could roll over BYU to make the point with panache. That said, the Cougars have seen it before. They went to Lincoln. They took out a Boise team under the lights with a redshirt freshman leading the way. UCLA owned an increasingly-desperate looking Virginia Cavaliers team at home and then shot over to UNLV to roll up the Rebs in front of a pretty Bruin-friendly crowd. If BYU’s fans show up like they’re saying they will in the Rose Bowl, the pressure will rise on true freshman QB Josh Rosen. Let’s do this…

UCLA -17 vs. BYU

Mangum v. Rosen. Mormons v. Hollywood. Throw out those storylines. What this game is really about is a contender in UCLA getting tested for the first time this season and BYU’s ability to draw penalties, bottle up the Bruins’ rushing game and continue to do big things in the pass game. The Cougars’ pass defense has broken so far this season–opponents have done most of their damage against the Cougars through the air with 616 yards and four TDs of the 7 the team has allowed this season, in addition to passes accounting for 29 of the 42 first downs BYU has allowed. Their neat trick has been staying just ahead of their opponents through the air, averaging 15.3 yards per catch to 12 for opponents. Part of that is the two Hail Marys, but part is Mangum and his predecessor’s ability to find the open man underneath. Staying ahead of Rosen won’t be easy, though. The Bruins have allowed just 147 yards per game through the air this season. They’ve allowed only one through the air, and exactly none on the ground. Opponents convert just 21 percent of their third downs, and only 1 red zone trip has resulted in an enemy touchdown. If you score on UCLA, keep the ball, because it hasn’t happened often this season. A lot in me wants to say 17 is a helluva lot of points to cover for a team who hasn’t seen much competition this season against a team that’s seen nothing but. However, I think the Cougars’ number comes up in the Rose Bowl this weekend. Rosen may be the bark, but his defense, led by linebacker Miles Jack, is the bite.

Alright AJ, before I take a look at the action in South Bend, Baton Rouge and Tuscaloosa, I believe you have some very definite thoughts on the action in Austin?

Kyle,

People forget that Cal once featured Aaron Rodgers under center. Cal once had Marshawn Lynch bringing his Beast Mode science project from Oakland Tech and adding signature dredlocks just up the road at Memorial Stadium. Cal’s DeSean Jackson and Keenan Allen ran post patterns all the way down to Fat Slice, handed their change to the guy on Tele and Haste busking Dylan to a hip hop beat and made it back up to the stadium in time solve the Bears’ perennial 3rd and 23 woes. All Nnamdi Asomugha did was change the DB position forever and put a ring on Kerry Washington. And GOAT TE Tony Gonzalez once posted up for PG Jason Kidd and caught out routes in blue and gold. Your Golden Bears have informed or at least provided about a half dozen names for the backs of the NFL Shop’s top jersey sellers for the better part of this millenia and yet, the program gets about as much love as Chaz Bono at a Chick-fil-a.

Why dredge up the past you may ask Kyle? It’s because exactly NONE of the above and their respective Cal squads would’ve been given less than double-digit underdog odds marching into Darrel K Royal. And being on the minus side would simply have been…oh, about as likely as winning as many national titles as they have Nobel Prizes.

Indeed, these are heady times for the Golden Bears.

Cal -6½ @ Texas

As the Bears board Southwest for Austin, they are 6½ -point favorites which is more than enough to hang the cost of a case of Shiner and a pound of brisket on. But before I dive into the match-up, I should also disclose that Cal has been my horse since pre-season when I picked Sonny Dykes’ squad to win more than their predicted 6½ before the leaves in Strawberry Canyon change.

I took the Bears game one and two and they’re perfect against the spread thus far. When I glance down the remainder of their 2015 dance card, I don’t see a major test till Oct. 22 at UCLA. So, I think with the spread less than a touchdown—even on the road—bookmakers are still trying to figure out whether Cal is for real.

The answer: yes.

Here’s why:

• Cal players are all kinds of bought-in to Sonny Dykes’ approach. Dykes falls from the gnarled Mike Leach (Texas Tech) and Mike Stoops (Arizona) branch of the coaching tree so he’s equal parts innovation, hubris and unapologetic. He’s probably the coach Oregon needs and Stanford wants but wouldn’t (pun not intended) stoop to. What the Bears get is a fearless and borderless recruiter and a little bit of a bullshitter. It’s not necessarily a sustainable model but it’s the model you want when you’re trying to a) turn a program around through recruiting b) graduate some kids (Cal, the most venerable public institution in the US, had the worst athlete/graduation ratio in the land as recently as 2013—Dykes was charged with changing this and succeeded) and c) have a game-day motivator. He’s also very level-headed and complementary to the opposition but in a back-handed way the way most Pac-12 coaches (who are either on their way up or down and are mostly on the spectrum) are not. Dykes this week on Texas coaching staff and redshirt QB Jerrod Heard: “They have a lot of good football coaches and bright minds on their staff. They made the switch to Heard; he’s a dynamic playmaker, very fast in the open field. You have to do a good job keeping lanes, pursuing, maintaining leverage.” Dykes is a master at using that coaches trick of giving more credit than where credit is due. But, again, his players BUY into that kind of bullshit. It’s like he baits them into thinking they’re the underdog all week and switches it up in the locker room at game time. That’s some SEC-style motivation right there, a first from the confines surrounding People’s Park but a welcome respite from the dreary culture of losing that has thrived in the shadow of the Campanile for the last decade.
• Goff is starting happen. Junior Cal quarterback Jared Goff is starting to get the inevitable Aaron Rodgers comparisons. Kyle, I’ll take full credit for first placement of this reference from our last podcast and though it’s not quite there yet, at least Vance Bedford, UT’s seasoned-as-a-salt-lick defensive coordinator is prepping for the second-coming this week. “This young man is the real deal. This young man exceptional.” Indeed, Goff has NFL draft boards shuffling as he completed 41 of 56 passes for 630 yards, six touchdowns and two interception thus far this year. More importantly, he dug Cal out of a minor funk against San Diego State last week to dominate the last three quarters of play. Coming from behind is an increasingly less-familiar task for Goff who finally has the front five protection he was missing in his first two campaigns. If he makes a splash in that sea of burnt orange, look for Cal to suddenly start finding their schedule loaded with TBAs, especially during those back-to-back LA matchups at the end of October.
• Texas is still marinating. I don’t buy the line that Texas is in a transition year as much as they seemed to be in Notre Dame. However, they do still need some extra time for those burnt ends to come up just right and the Craigslist post for a new AD this week is proof of this. Charlie Strong’s horns are still down 10 starters from last season and the defense is more suspect than Bartolo Colon’s listed age. The horns are allowing 500 (plus) yards per for its first two efforts. Goff, as mentioned, has enough in that right arm of his to double his stat line for ‘15 on Saturday and still have plenty to decry Whole Foods’ crimes against shopping humanity in the post game. Strong is making moves that connote his surname: The aforementioned Heard looks like the strongest under center for Bevo and co. since Colt McCoy and was masterful in the second half last week against Rice. So there is hope for the horns and not just because it’s still six months from when Austin becomes Normandy on Douchebag D-Day (aka SXSW)…but saying they’re there now, especially when they’re not holding, is a damn dirty lie.

Take Cal and make your day’s wages by bumping the line to an even 10.

Kyle…let’s keep it going:

AJ,

I, too, am wondering if there wasn’t a little more than meets the eye in that Texas-ND matchup, but with the other contestant…

Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame +2.5

If the Texas game was the marquee party on Notre Dame’s home dance card this season, Georgia Tech is perhaps the marquee game. Those nerds from Atlanta aren’t known for their fan base’s ability to travel, but they are known for their triple-option rushing attack, which has resulted in a passel of video game numbers in their tilts versus Alcorn State and Tulane to open the season. They’ve already rushed for 915 yards, 15 rushing TDs (versus 4 passing) and 41 rushing first downs. Granted, they haven’t racked up those totals against even mildly imposing defenses, but at a certain point, just executing a game plan that would result in those numbers against anyone more advanced than your local charter school’s squad is pretty damn impressive. The Rambling Wreck’s defense has been nearly as flawless in its ability to shut down opposing offenses. Here’s the rub, though: Notre Dame has some very definite ideas about time of possession. In wins over Texas and Virginia, the 2-0 Irish have averaged nearly 33 minutes per game of TOP as opposed to Tech’s 31. This comes from a team that rushes about half as much and passes twice as much. With a freshman signal caller in the fold in DeShone Kizer, look for Notre Dame to stoke the fires on its successful but less-used running game in this matchup and potentially into the future. If the Irish can win the line of scrimmage on offense, it limits the damage Tech can do with its offense and begins to test a defense that hasn’t been pushed around yet this season. Kizer throws an absolutely beautiful deep ball and he’s got a receiving corps that can go up and get it. Add in the home-cooking in South Bend and I think you see the Irish cover ATS and win at home.

Ole Miss @ Alabama -7

Ole Miss is likely the faster, more explosive of these two 2-0 squads. They average almost 3 more yards per catch and have offensive lineman who are routinely into the second level on rushing plays where the more staid Tide hogs stay home. Ole Miss has converted more third downs into first downs, red zone trips and turnovers into touchdowns than the Tide have this season. They put up 149 fourth quarter points to ‘Bama’s 72. Unfortunately for them, Alabama has been in one fistfight against an actual team (a week 1 win over Wisconsin), is at home and has Nick Saban patrolling their sideline. Tide running back Derrick Henry averages 7.8 yards per carry to lead an Alabama attack that controls the ball for four more minutes per game than their opponents. Saban is a master of taking the air out of the building and rarely allows opponents the space to make a big, game-changing play. Look for a low-scoring affair with the Tide covering.

Auburn @ LSU -7

Chalk. Also, Auburn is 0-2 ATS and has been pushed hard by the likes of Louisville and Jacksonville State. LSU has already been through the fire in a week 1 victory over Mississippi State and a much, much better QB in Dak Sheppard. Geaux Tigers and the points.

Alright AJ, bring us home

Texas A&M -10 vs. Nevada

Scanning the lines Kyle, I can’t imagine why A&M isn’t closer to 17-point favorites. Seems like Vegas isn’t wanting to doubt the still-in-need-of-a-toe-hold Wolfpack too much; nor are they admitting A&M could win the SEC West (I happen to think they’re better top-to-bottom than Ole Miss and LSU; then again, I think BYU is too).

Facts ‘r facts though and I’d take A&M to put up a two-digit lead on the Wolfpack before halftime if you wanna double up on this bet. Nevada usually sneaks up on one team a year (remember when they took Boise State out of BCS title contention in 2010?) but don’t look for that to happen in College Station this week as the Wolfpack offense is simply a one-man show. QB Tyler Stewart throws 200-plus per game, but most of those yards come from his second or third option underneath. The Wolfpack receiving corps should be easy for venerable Aggie DBs to contain and there’s no run game to prevent a bevy of three-and-outs. And if that’s not enough to convince Stewart he’s his own one-man wolfpack, think about the havoc 6-foot-1, 335 pound Texas A&M defensive tackle Daylon Mack is going to create. That’s the same future first rounder who chased a Ball State running back 30 yards downfield last week—and made a tackle. Oye.

On offense, the Aggies came out firing against Arizona State and basically showed up like a guy pounding beers in a sauna—depleted but inspirational—against Ball State to run to a quick 2-0 record. As their ground game keeps plugging look for another freshman, wideout Christian Kirk, who was targeted a dozen times against ASU and another eight against Ball State to stand out. It seems speedy youngsters will be giving the Wolf Pack fits on both sides of the ball Saturday.

A&M should be loving it like all-day McDonald’s breakfast as this is their last dress rehearsal before a SEC schedule that doesn’t relent until Western Carolina the week before Thanksgiving.

Utah -10 @ Fresno State

If only the cartographers of the Pac 12 knew which way was north they’d find that Utah is well above Cal and Stanford while flipping through the old Thomas Guide. But there they the Utes are, stuck in the division’s dominant south bracket trying to make a run against suddenly unstoppable UCLA and USC.

But it’s also the 21st ranked Utes that are the dark horse to run that schedule in my mind. Fresno State is the Salt Lake squad’s final test before getting dumped into Eugene next weekend. And it’s this Valley dress rehearsal that will determine how next week’s line shakes down for the Ducks. My guess is it’ll be less than seven on the minus pending the Ducks having to struggle against Georgia State (they will, take GSU and the 10) this weekend.

But let’s do what head coaches say and not get ahead of ourselves: Utah will likely have a mirror game to last season’s 59-37 victory against the Bulldogs. Why? The Bulldogs thus far have had the fewest first down conversions from third and more than five in college football this season. Not a telling or a fully cooked stat, but after seeing Utah’s DB’s on hard-core lockdown the likes of which haven’t been seen since Money Train (<–this year’s first Money Train reference) things don’t look to get any easier for Fres-yes fans. Last week when Ole Miss put up 73, the Bulldogs had a third and ten or more yards seven times and converted none. They were five of 15 overall on third down.

“A lot of our first downs were for zero,” Fresno State HC Tim DeRuyter said. “Now they’re able to pin their ears back and tee off. If you’re behind the sticks like we were, against a really good defense like Utah’s, you’re going to have a long evening. We have to be productive on first down.”

Sounds like DeRuyter has his Per Diem on the Utes as well.

The only reason this spread isn’t 20-plus is because they’re at Fresno State which is just like Utah only they’ve got higher-point Goose Island on tap at East Shaw Avenue Buffalo Wild Wings. Otherwise, both teams still practice under blankets of smog. Look then, for the Utes to make themselves at home in the Valley this weekend and win by at least 20.

PNP Recap:

Kyle:

Last week: 3-1

Overall: 4-8

UCLA -17 vs. BYU

Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame +2.5

Ole Miss @ Alabama -7

Auburn @ LSU -7

AJ:

Last week: 2-2

Overall: 5-8

Cal -6½ @ Texas

Texas A&M -10 vs. Nevada

Utah -10 @ Fresno State

Pints and Picks The Podcast: Episode 2 – Now that’s pod racing!

Like what you heard?

P&P Podcast Episode 1

The Trinity of West Coast Baseball

Is this [broadcaster] heaven? No, it’s California.

By Kyle Magin

There’s a place, somewhere near the sun’s resting place, where baseball is still told as a story.

Octogenarians and a sexagenarian do the telling in tasteful suits on TV and over the airwaves. They contextualize Yasiel Puig or Madison Bumgarner’s dazzling ability in baseball’s century-old saga with charming anecdotes woven in and out of the play-by-play narrative.

They never step on their partners’ observations and add something to every broadcast you never knew before. They are some of the last, great voices of summer: Jon Miller (63) with the San Francisco Giants on KNBR and KNTV, Dick Enberg (80) with the San Diego Padres on Fox Sports San Diego and Vin Scully (87) with the Los Angeles Dodgers on SportsNet LA.

Re-discovering Enberg has legitimately been one of the highlights of the 2015 baseball season for me.

After watching my Tigers flounder with one of the sport’s richest payrolls, my girlfriend and I flip over to the Padres telecast. She’s a native San Diegan, which is good enough for me to claim we need to watch the games, even though she mainly plays Candy Crush while I let Enberg ease my blood pressure back to normal.

Even though the team is in fourth place, Enberg’s cadence (undoubtedly owing to his status as the voice of football in my childhood) lends weight to 16-2 blowouts and the endless, horrifying routes taken by Pads outfielder Matt Kemp. Sprinkle in an always apt and never shoe-horned anecdote about John Wooden from Enberg’s days as a play-by-play man with the Bruins and you can almost imagine yourself pulling a hoodie over your head and letting the sand slide out from your flip flops as you dangle your feet from a barstool beachside in Carlsbad.

While researching this column, it shocked me to find out Miller is only 63. In as tough a broadcasting crowd as you’ll ever find to stand out amongst—Enberg and Scully—he probably has the most distinctive voice. I remember sitting on the deck of a cabin my parents had rented in Lake Tahoe while I searched for a place to live here in 2007. My dad flipped on KNBR while we were barbecuing and I turned to him in amazement.

“They have Jon Miller call all of their games!?”

I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that other teams had legendary voices do something as mundane as a daily broadcast. In a bit of reverse Midwestern modesty, I thought the Tigers’ late Ernie Harwell was the only such deity who deigned to call baseball daily, on the radio of all mediums.

Miller’s crisp calls and folksiness are one of the few things that have made interacting with the Giants pleasurable during their dynasty years as fans have piled onto the bandwagon. He humanizes an organization that’s gone so stratospheric in its success.

Scully, of course, is the dean of the group and of sports announcing in general. His dapper baby blue suits and pocket squares are as much the highlight of a Dodgers broadcast as the eloquent old grandpa reading fan Tweets and making them sound like sane, salient points with his impeccable enunciation.

Scully really shines when he’s telling some ribald tale, on par with the old allegation that Kevin Mitchell beheaded his girlfriend’s cat. He could talk about some roaring drunk assaulting his escorts and bailing out of county just in time to hit the winning home run for the boys in blue and make it seem like the most charming tale ever told. Scully routinely spins yarns that last a whole half inning without missing a beat in the here-and-now.

Now, lest you think I like these guys just because they’re aged, let me disabuse you of that notion right now. I reserve a large portion of the hate in my heart for one Ken “Hawk” Harrelson (73), announcer for the Chicago White Sox and known miscreant. He routinely abuses the English language in the least attractive ways possible ‘cause he’s reel excahted to see you at the ballpark on Mondee. The Sox fan-run blog heavethehawk.com sums up my feelings on him nicely: “Mr. Harrelson’s unique blend of non-standard English and ego-maniacal blather has made the mute button a must for Sox T.V. viewers during the last four decades.”

He’s everything wrong with anyone who’s been around the game for decades. Every broadcast is a trip to Hawk’s Glory Days, and he’s an unrepentant homer who wears windbreakers and sweater vests atop golf-outing polos. He also has a habit of leaving dead air just hanging when the Sox are getting their asses kicked.

His style couldn’t be more disparate from that of the Enberg-Miller-Scully triumvirate.

Maybe it’s the nine they can get in at Torrey Pines, Pebble or Riviera before heading to one of their never-rained-out games in the evening. Maybe it’s because of sweetheart, Keith Jackson-esque deals that have them mostly staying on the West Coast and avoiding the really shitty parts of the schedule. Probably it’s just that they care, are likeable and hardworking.

You don’t pick up great anecdotes being a jackass.

The Bay to Breakers has morphed into pure evil

The 104th Bay to Breakers takes place in San Francisco Sunday. In spite of the efforts to control the 50,000 participants, the 7.5-mile course has turned into a moving cautionary tale about where its host city, and possibly humanity, is headed.

By Andrew Pridgen

Have I run the Bay to Breakers?

Yes.

Have I also walked the course, people-watched (people-stared) and gladly accepted sundry Jell-O shots/whatever is coming out of that squirt gun and courtesy brews that came my way from kind strangers?

Sure.

Do I think it’s one of the prettiest/best/most fun urban courses in the world?

Without a doubt.

Is today’s Bay to Breakers not just a 100-percent accurate representation of the asshole-and-douchebag capital of the world San Francisco has become but a bleak, bleak stare down with the not-too-distant future?

Absolutely.

It’s difficult to write a take down of today’s Bay to Breaker’s revelers without sounding curmudgeonly. So I won’t bother trying to pick apart why I was less of an asshole living in San Francisco in my early 20s during the first dot.com boom than the assholes who live there now (though, it likely starts with the fact that my friends and I had the same types of jobs but no money and didn’t leverage app technology to create a more efficiently connected rape culture).

What I can say is the city has been shaken down and is nearing its end in this form.

It’s Sodom and Gomorrah the week before the skies rained fire or whatever is depicted in all the paintings. It’s downtown Chicago October 7, 1871. It’s Long Island Sound on October 28, 1929. Every great civilization has its San Francisco of 2015 moment. And, to a place, it all comes crashing down.

At the Bay to Breakers Sunday, 50,000 runners and revelers will toe the line in the financial district and make their way, bedazzled, bedecked and bewitched to the finish line on Ocean Beach.

The spinning wheel of title sponsors pointed to Zappos this year which only means they’ll make haste from their contract when someone dies, someone gets assaulted (physically and/or sexually) and someone is scraped from inside one of the course’s 1,100 portable toilets and sent to the ER for an afternoon date with a bag of fluids and a stomach pump.

Some long-time San Francisco resident who refuses to sell the cherished home which lines the course gets to witness once more her marigolds get pissed on, fucked on, defecated on—in spite of the fact that she put up caution tape. Some lovely tourist family will post Facebook photos in outrage and check out of their Fisherman’s Wharf digs to enter San Diego in the Alamo rental GPS. Some runner, there in earnest, will get pelted by a tall boy and crumble in a lump of shorts, bib and tank top as folks amble by unknowing, uncaring as if the individual in need is a piece of performance art.

My most recent Bay to Breakers was 2012. I raced it and then decided to walk to the course backwards to gawk. It was a solo mission. My immediate peer group had long retreated to the suburbs and woke that morning—not to put on running tutus and coconut bras—to make waffles for their offspring and watch Dora. Kidless and unafraid, I decided on a swan song. Though I wasn’t looking to crash a party (and be the ”Who was that random old guy?” there), I was probably trying to recapture some of the glory years.

What I saw was fucking horrific.

It wasn’t just people hammered. I’m OK with hammered, even during the day if it’s a special occasion (Spring Training). It was blood-sucking, black-eyed, thousand-yard stare, zombie apocalypse hammered.

Vomit and bile and tears of self-hatred slipped radioactive down the street and gurgled around the sewer grate. You know that feeling when you walk into a bar and it’s all malice? Folks aren’t in there to have a few drinks or catch up or tell tall tales. They’re there trying to forget. Violently trying to forget. It’s that all-in, hair-at-attention-on-the-back-of-your-neck, I-better-flee-because-I-cannot-possibly-fight-all-of-them moment. The If-stay-here-too-long-I-might-lose-all-sense-of-me notion. That Where-is-Liam-Neeson-on-his-cell-phone-when-I-need-him-most stomach drop.

Imagine that seedy, dead-end bar, now multiply it by tens of thousands and dump it out on Alamo Square.

It wasn’t just people getting loose because they were drunk or misbehaving or their parents weren’t around for the first time ever. It was unkind people let out of their cages, sprung from their cells. The type of folks that usually only occupy the shadowy side of society; the maggot-infested eye socket that we don’t give cops enough credit for dealing with once every 18 minutes. The kind who fill up work-release programs and prisons and clog society’s shower drain that is the court system.

Bay to Breakers is an open invite for the marginal majority who feels lost and abandoned in an era of factory farms and endless wars and tax payer-subsidized Wall Street safety nets to show up not in non-violent protest, but in intoxicated, bitter rage. They don’t have much of an opportunity to show themselves and their wares in the daylight. This is one of them.

It wasn’t just people dressing or acting promiscuous. It was live, craven and, for the disturbing majority, involuntary corpulent acts right there on the street, in the parks, semi-behind overflowing Dumpsters, on the side of floats. It was the hard-core and regrettable side of humanity that isn’t just an I-let-my-guard-down moment but is more a there-was-nobody-to-guard-me tragedy. (see: Liam Neeson).

And the thing is—the most depressing part of it—nobody stopped to help. To ask are you OK? Is this OK? We all just kind of got out of the way hoping the storm wouldn’t hit us.

Over the past decade, the city has fallen victim to its own success. The quality of life for everyone this side of the hard-charging VC-funded Chosen Ones is nil. The city is being vivisected and the crucial innards: its history, its culture, its working-class heart, is being scooped out like a Jack-o’-lantern by the fucking ladle full. It’s an absurdist kingdom now occupied only by those who have way too much and those who have nothing…including nothing to lose.

That is what I saw at the Bay to Breakers. It wasn’t the Barbary Coast. It wasn’t some latter-day version of the Summer of Love. It wasn’t Baghdad by the Bay or Pride Day. Hell, it wasn’t even the Folsom Street Fair. Perhaps what I saw was a glimpse of the near-future. Humanity awe-struck and helpless against the wildfire of bone-crushing capitalism and power gone unchecked. People at their worst because nobody is expecting anything better of them anymore.

Perhaps this is where we’re headed.

But that doesn’t mean I ever have to head back.

Why the NFL will ultimately stand in the way of a Raiders, Rams or Chargers move to LA

For more than 20 seasons the NFL has enjoyed its most diverse and active fanbase in greater Los Angeles—without a franchise there. As new California laws are making it easier to ease through community and environmental impact studies through ballot initiatives, the real bulwark may come from the league itself.

By Andrew Pridgen

The bureaucratic red tape, the environmental impact reports, the public commentary forums, the denuded forests of paperwork—no more. At least not as far as a trio of NFL team owners looking to build in Los Angeles are concerned.

The league and the rest of its current owners, on the other hand, are a different story.

Since January, St. Louis Rams owner Stan Kroeneke has dished out $1.7 million for a successful Inglewood stadium ballot initiative. Ownership of the Chargers and Raiders spent about a third of that for the consulting fees and polling agency services required to convince 15,000 Carson residents to align themselves and their taxpayer dollars with the pair of professional sports franchises. The stadium projects, which could top out at $2 billion each, have gone from spaceship-looking renderings and notions of grandiosity to being just a few fundraising cycles away from that first golden shovel scoop.

…But using a new state law which exempts projects proposed by ballot initiatives from environmental impact reviews doesn’t make the most expensive stadia builds in the world a sure thing.

Just ask AEG.

On March 10, the Los Angeles-based music and sports presenter gave up on its half-decade-long journey to build a megastadium complex in downtown LA next to the Staples Center. The group spent an estimated $27 million on a Game of Thrones-length environmental impact report (10k pages nobody will ever read would’ve been averted under the new law) and another $50 million on consulting and design fees for an infill project in a now-thriving and accessible sector of Los Angeles.

“After years of work on the stadium project, including execution of a term sheet with the NFL and over a year of negotiations in earnest with the league, it has become evident that a transaction that would be satisfactory to AEG, the City and the NFL is not achievable in any foreseeable time frame,” was the released statement from Ted Fikre, AEG’s vice chairman.

Translation: It was the NFL that cock-blocked us.

The league ostensibly killed AEG’s deal after the promotion company requested a potential stake in team ownership in exchange for building the venue.

AEG in turn said, “Fuck us? Oh yeah. Fuck you!” and started making attempts to stop Kroeneke’s Inglewood plan as well as shooting holes in the Carson project. This, ironically, likely will result in AEG doing the dirty work for the NFL.

By threatening a move to the most underserved metro on the West Coast, owners have bled their team’s hometowns dry over the past two decades.

But AEG’s sour-grapes studies revealing stadiums near airports may encourage terrorism (totally ignoring the fact that their proposed structure would’ve been built in the shadow of Nakatomi Plaza) are small time. Over the last 90 days, the NFL has quietly established an owners committee to look further into LA—meaning they’re waiting for the right time to sweep the out-of-town money off the table. The league’s head henchman Eric Grubman, who also runs point in Southern California, has been careful to laud the efforts of all groups to build in Los Angeles without giving any specific indicators that the NFL takes any of these bids seriously—or even wants a team in LA.

“I honestly don’t know if we’ll get a proposal this year,” Grubman recently told The New York Times. “It’s not ripe until it’s ripe.”

LA has been a NFL cash cow not only with the hoards of expat fans who buy into the league’s many cable, satellite and merchandising offerings, but by threatening a move to the most underserved metro on the West Coast, owners have bled their team’s hometowns dry over the past two decades.

To stay in Indianapolis, the Colts received more than $670 million to build a new stadium from taxpayers. The Vikings and the Saints got $500 million from the public to stay in Minnesota and New Orleans respectively. The Bills got a quarter-billion-dollar renovation to its stadium courtesy of the ballot-stuffing Bills faithful.

…But nothing compares to the bill Santa Clara voters signed to keep the 49ers from flying south. In June, 2010 Santa Clara approved a $937 million plan to pick up the tab of what is now Levi’s stadium. The cost to the city eventually swelled to $1.3 billion, 36 percent more than the original estimate. That’s a nice chunk of community change to pad the York family’s and the league’s coffers.

The only stumbling block for the league to keep the joke going comes in the form of the Raiders and the Chargers. Both franchises were founded in Los Angeles in 1960 and have been hitting voter roadblocks in Oakland and San Diego on new stadium proposals for decades. Recent negative comments from Oakland City Council members on top of a lifetime of struggle with the Davis family along with San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer’s lashing out at the Chargers after the Carson stadium announcement, means both current municipalities may rather see their moribund AFC franchises walk then deposit one more cent of public funds to keep them.

If only for PR, St. Louis still has (pig)skin in the game. City officials from the Gateway to the West have hired a consultant to measure voter interest on construction of a potential $800 million riverfront stadium complex in St. Louis—using taxpayer dollars.

Whether any of the three current teams in the hunt for a new home ends up in the Los Angeles Basin, voters from around the country have already spoken with their wallets over the last decade. Despite facing the challenges of paying for crumbling infrastructure as well as the untenable salaries and pensions of elected officials, staffs, police, fire and municipal workers, there is one need that trumps them all: Keeping satisfied a non-profit $10 billion/year league and its profit-sharing owners.

NFL owners, three-fourths of whom are required to OK a move, are loath to kill off their Golden McGuffin in the city of make-believe.

Whether Kroeneke snagged Hollywood Park to lord over St. Louis Rams fans or the Raiders/Chargers group secured the services of Goldman Sachs’ Tim Romer (who orchestrated the 49ers’ stadium deal with Santa Clara) just to make a potential fake move look legitimate, it is the NFL’s LA ruse that trumps them—netting more than $3 billion in public funds to date.

Not a bad bluff at all.

The $1.7 billion stadium bluff

Ownership of the Oakland Raiders and San Diego Chargers are hoping the threat to bulld a joint stadium on a 168-acre site in Carson, California is enough to make the existing fanbases and municipalities pony up for new stadia…or lose the teams forever. Below, Death of the Press Box’s Kyle Magin and Andrew Pridgen team up with Stadiafile’s Matt Brown for a roundtable on the topic.

Andrew: When I spent a couple years in Hollywood drinking Mickey’s on my rooftop and waiting for the phone to ring, I found a batting cage where I used to bum cigarettes off 12-year-olds and take BP in the 70 cage to pass the time near the proposed Carson stadium site.

Without sounding too much like SNL’s The Californians, I took the 170 to the 2 to the 101 to the 5 to the 710 to the 105 to the 110 or simply idled on LaBrea’s endless cartoon backdrop loop of liquor stores and car washes. With no traffic on a Tuesday it was about a 58-minute jaunt from Sunset.

I’m pretty sure sticking a stadium, and all the mixed-use moneymakers to accompany (condos, hotels, restaurants, offices), will create something similar to but more severe than the current NFL home of Carpocalypse up in Santa Clara (avg. waiting time in/out of a 49er game, approximately 4 hours).

But it’s LA and traffic is implicit, so we’ll move on to the group: Carson2gether. Yes, that’s the actual name of the business and, um, “labor leaders” who will attempt to strongarm persuade the NFL to let a pair of disgruntled franchises relocate to the proposed site. I don’t care about all that as much as I’m eagerly anticipating the day when names of businesses and organizations are led with a hashtag and punctuated with an emoji.

The proposed privately financed (if you consider municipalities who receive money from Goldman Sachs a private venture) project holds in gnarled hands the still-beating hearts of both the Los Angeles Raiders of Oakland and the Los Angeles Chargers of San Diego fanbases by: 1) making bedfellows/dorm mates with reviled division rivals (the NFL’s version of the Odd Couple) 2) Saying Fuck You to both the city of San Diego and associated fanbase (“Sorry we moved to BFE but could you please pony up $80k for a PSL?”) as well as the city of Oakland and associated miscreants and 3) Saying Double Fuck You to the NFL which for 20 years running has had the biggest and most diverse fanbase in the NFL…with no actual team. And they’d like to keep it that way. 

Both teams were founded in Los Angeles in 1960 and would be coming home, or at least a little bit south of home, so that may actually give #carson2gether a modicum of sentimental health.

But sentiment isn’t going to remove many roadblocks.

NFL owners, three-fourths of whom would be needed to OK the move, may have other plans as St. Louis is already carry-on packed for a stadium build in Inglewood at the site of the old Hollywood Park—next to the Forum and within smelling distance of Randy’s Donuts and Bare Elegance.

NFL owners would likely cast a no-vote based on the notion that the move would require a league realignment. The league demigods also won’t like the idea of shared infrastructure (the NFL is not a duplex-type league). However, the group is at least serious insofar that they’ve got the deed to the land in hand and Goldman’s Tim Romer (who orchestrated the 9ers’ stadium deal with Santa Clara) on line one.

The release of plans is an autoCAD-laden all-in assault from the ownership groups on both the voters of San Diego and Oakland to fast-track public/private new stadium partnerships in the respective current home cities. The efforts of Colony Capital, the investment group spearheading a new home for the Raiders in the East Bay, have stalled and the City of San Diego has similarly not been moving fast enough to extract the Bolts from the only stadium ever named after a sports writer.

The Spanos family, which hasn’t curried favor with local politicos blaming the city for the blocked path to a new facility, may have written a one way ticket out of town with last week’s announcement: “It’s now abundantly clear that while we have been working here in San Diego to create a plan for a new stadium, the Chargers have for some time been making their own plans for moving to Los Angeles,” San Diego mayor Kevin Faulconer said. “This would amount to abandoning generations of loyal Chargers fans. Despite this news, we are going to continue our efforts to develop a viable stadium solution.”

And the Oakland City Council is still trying to figure out ways to market themselves as the, errr, “New Brooklyn” and doesn’t have enough in the city coffers to refurbish Caspers on Telegraph, much less take on a billion extra dollars to throw at the Davis family.

Blah.

The 72k-seat stadium plan, courtesy Manica Architecture—which is also in charge of the Warriors’ new small plates-serving waterfront arena in San Francisco—looks like the Love Boat capsized and the pool deck and Pirate’s Cove are dumping Piña Coladas and tube tops out into the ocean. But I’ll defer to Stadialife’s Matt Brown on the design, feasibility and financing front.

Matt: First off, $1.7 billion! That is insane.

The Meadowlands, which similarly is a shared facility was $1 billion if memory serves me correctly and that factors in the cost increase of doing work in the New York area. I’ll give the group the benefit of the doubt that you are fitting out locker facilities and probably offices for both teams and what looks to be a lot of luxury suites but $1.7 billion is an ungodly number especially since it seems to be a pretty easy, flat, non-urban context to build in.

The project is not without its positive aspects however. In general I am in favor of stadium shares especially for NFL stadiums that only get 8-10 days of use per year. It is an open air building, thankfully the developers have rejected the trend to include a retractable roof on the project, though for $1.7 billion one might expect one. Also, I like the suburban location; NFL stadiums, so big and so infrequently used, probably shouldn’t be located in city centers. Put them on innocuous sites, outside cities, with lots of space for people to tailgate pre and post game. It would be nice if there were some mass transit option to the facility, as exists at the Meadowlands but this is LA and that might be asking a bit much. No word on sustainability of the project, I definitely think, as with new Levi’s Stadium these buildings should become renewable energy facilities, in addition to sport facilities, no word on that yet it would seem.

As for the design, I like the asymmetrical, open-ended arrangement. That very 2000-era inspired, rounded corner wall of suites looks a bit dated especially in the less exuberant, post-recession architecture design world.

Kyle: My favorite part of this entire announcement is how quickly it’s taking to backfire amongst my San Diegan friends.

The Chargers have been begging around a broke town for about a decade to no avail whatsoever. They’re not going to find a hugely significant piece of public money to get this thing done. When they publicly unveiled their notes to a local government “task force” earlier this week, it reeked of thirsty-ass desperation and not a little bit of indignation that they’ve been told ‘no, you’re not getting $900 million from us’ and later, “no, you’re not getting $650 million from us.”

The team went ahead and claimed in the notes that 25 percent of their fanbase already comes from LA (which, what, Laguna Niguel is LA now?).

People I talk to in the city or with San Diego ties are more than happy with their beautiful downtown baseball stadium (which they already helped to publicly fund and cost less than a half-billion) and sure as hell aren’t paying for another especially to a team that’s so openly blowing the counties just up the coast.

On top of just not wanting to pay, period, the old mechanisms for publicly paying for this sort of thing in California—a city’s redevelopment agency—have been done away with under Governor Jerry Brown’s tenure. No longer can cities pledge incremental tax revenues from their downtowns to cover the massive costs of projects like this.

A friend also reminded me that this team’s 2007 firing of Marty Schottenheimer and hiring of Norv Turner turned off a lot of fans to the Chargers in general. The Chargers threatening to leave town sort of feels like a 30-year old threatening to leave his mom’s pad.

2015 World Series odds—who to bet and who to forget

Happy Pitchers and Catchers everyone!

Spring Training, where beer tastes like Axe body spray and clear acrylic stilettos. Where the Oakland A’s play in an actual baseball stadium. Where (El) Super Burritos in North Scottsdale flow like well tequila. Where the Pink Pony is a steakhouse not a strip club. Where the poolside bar at Hotel Valley Ho is manned by my favorite former Royal with a porn star baseball name to end all names, Pete LaCock. Where Julian Tavares drives a rickshaw with his face.

Before we make our annual pilgrimage to the base of Camelback, Kyle Magin and myself check in with Bet It or Forget It—every team’s odds to win the World Series. Print it and take it to the book!

By Kyle Magin and Andrew Pridgen

Washington Nationals: 6/1

AJ: Forget it. The Nats’ rotation could be Dwight Gooden, Nolan Ryan, Tom Seaver and Jim Abbott and I wouldn’t pick them to win a one-man primary. I blame their hiring of Giants’ color guy FP Santangelo prior to the 2010 season (the Giants’ first World Series) on their bad luck.

KM: Forget it. The Nats can’t stay healthy–Ryan Zimmerman, Jayson Werth, Anthony Rendon and Bryce Harper have lost massive portions of the last two seasons. The rotation is outstanding and will probably only get better in 2015, but the bats seem to have a hard time grooving together.

Los Angeles Dodgers: 13/2

AJ: Forget it. Are there any years left on Joe Torre’s contract?

KM: Forget it. The weird power outages from the lineup, particularly Yasiel Puig, are too troubling to ignore.

Los Angeles Angels: 10/1

KM: Bet it. In the event that everything goes right for the lineup (big if, I know) you’re looking at two shutdown pitchers at the tail end of last season—CJ Wilson and Matt Shoemaker–going 2-4 times a week. The rotation in Orange County looks special.

AJ: Forget it. Singing cowboy’s former franchise is a year older and Mike Trout is the Gwen Stefani of Orange County baseball; he’d probably have a better go in his own.

St. Louis Cardinals: 12/1

AJ: Bet it. Ordinarily, I’d like to see this more at 20/1 but Matheny’s Cards are like clockwork; guaranteed LCS appearance, what happens from there, nobody knows.

KM: Bet it. The Central’s no walk in the park, but the rest of the NL isn’t exactly dominant. The Cards have been there before and can get back again.

Boston Red Sox: 14/1

KM: Forget it. The lineup is aging, the rotation is improved but not enough to contain the top-end AL lineups they’ll see every other series.

AJ: Forget it. Whether Panda Express out-eats Ortiz at Golden Corral on every road trip is the red herring here, the real problem is pitching. Look for Ramirez to be moved by the All-Star break as the Sox start to build a pen.

Seattle Mariners: 14/1

AJ: Forget it. EVERYONE’s sleeper pick but there’s too big a drop off after Hernandez to matter. The AL West could provide a Wild Card team, but Seattle would play the role of 2014 Pittsburgh.

KM: Forget it. See above.

Chicago White Sox: 15/1

KM: Bet it. Somehow Rick Hahn filled a hole at every need within the organization–Jeff Samardzija, Melky Cabrera and David Robertson solve a lot of problems. One more bat with speed at the trade deadline and the South Siders are in business.

AJ: Forget it. Like Superfan Obama’s first year in office, the resurgent ChiSox got too much too soon. They’ll finish third in the Central but at least there’s a reason to go to the new Comiskey besides you saw it on My Best Friend’s Wedding and want to see what all the fuss is about.

San Francisco Giants 15/1

AJ: Bet it. Not likely to repeat especially since Boch had chest pains after MadBum’s first bullpen sesh—but at 15/1 those odds will shrink considerably should they sniff the playoffs and pull the trigger for the Nats’ odd-man-out Jordan Zimmermann at the deadline. Long-shot, but don’t sleep on the defending champs if Cain gets healthy and Timmy really brought Taye Diggs back from his island vacation.

KM: Forget it. 2015 is an odd number, no?

Chicago Cubs: 16/1

AJ: Forget it. No team this stacked deserves to be 16/1…but the Cubbies. At some point middle-aged Theo is going to channel young Theo and produce a winner. 2015 is not that point.

KM: Forget it. Some nice adds, but the Cubs’ kids still aren’t ready yet. Anthony Rizzo is going to make it a fun ride though, however pointless.

San Diego Padres: 18/1

AJ: Forget it. Money can’t buy you love but hopefully the gorgeous PetCo gets a little more of it beyond Marines on furlough. Kemp’s a clubhouse cancer but those throwback brown unis can make any man change for the better.

KM: Bet it! Justin Upton has a hammer and a change of scenery is exactly what Kemp needed.

Detroit Tigers: 20/1

KM: Forget it. One too many pieces have been dealt away from the rotation to make up for the inevitable slump the bats will hit at some point in the season. The injuries to Miguel Cabrera and Victor Martinez don’t bode well for the beginning of the season.

AJ: Forget it. Window closing faster than when your hand is hanging out making airplane motions on the freeway and your grandma absent-mindedly rolls it up on you. OK, bad analogy, how ‘bout this: Detroit and their recovery saga is on magazine covers now so the secret’s out…too bad it’s all happening two years too late.

Baltimore Orioles: 25/1

KM: Forget it. This team can’t get on base frequently enough to put a scare into the rest of the league–though they may get out of the weak East.

AJ: Bet it. Hellsyeah. B-more’s been on the cusp for three years and has lost nobody. The only reason they’re 25/1 is because Wei-Yen Chen isn’t playoff tested. I like Bud Norris to win 18 this year.

Cleveland Indians: 25/1

KM: Forget it. Swisher and Bourn were terrible buys and this team doesn’t have enough firepower or financial flexibility to overcome that $30 million in deadweight.

AJ: Bet it. Absolutely. I always choose Cleveland on Griffey for Nintendo 64 so I’m choosing them here. Why on the prior? Man-Ram, Thome, Vizquel, Alomar, Matt Williams, Grissom and Justice. What the FUCK? OK, so Moss, Kipnis, Swisher, Bourn, Brantley and Gomes don’t strike as much fear…or, wait a minute—do they?

New York Mets: 25/1

AJ: Bet it. I’m on record that every 25/1 team is going to get bet by me. Don’t sleep on the Mets’ building on the moderate success of 2014. Cuddyer, Murphy and Wright are the closest Queens has had to a murderers’ row since Mookie, Daryl, Ray and Gary. Kyle, is it true Bobby Bonilla is still on their payroll? Maybe they should get him to be Mr. Met, he wouldn’t even have to wear the head.

KM: Forget it. Bobby B is still definitely getting paid–$1 million a year for the next decade, if memory serves. The Mets’ staff looks strong until you look closely–Matt Harvey is coming off of Tommy John Surgery and Bartolo Colon was born in the Ford administration. That’s an unsteady rack on which to hang your coat.

New York Yankees: 25/1

KM: Forget it. The Yankees have too much tied up in a World Series from a half-decade ago to think about another one any time soon.

AJ: Bet it. More a transition year, but now that the Jeter sheet cake is in the break room garbage bin we can get back to baseball in the Bronx. Nobody’s a lock in the AL East and why not the Yankees-as-underdog?

Pittsburgh Pirates: 25/1

AJ: Bet it. Here we go. The best position player in the game in McCutcheon and four solid starters is a great jump off at PNC. They should take the division and then it’s all kinds of “We Are Family” references come playoff time.

KM: Bet it. McCutcheon is worth 5-8 wins on his own, which should be just enough in the Central.

Kansas City Royals: 30/1

KM: Forget it. Lightning won’t strike twice, especially with the Sox picking up a half-dozen games from somewhere.

AJ: Forget it. They won’t miss Shields or Country Breakfast but the fans have left and now there’s only fountains and Ned Yost…who was just happy to be there in 2014.

Miami Marlins: 30/1

AJ: Forget it. Fuck Florida.

KM: Forget it. Saint Happening.

Toronto Blue Jays: 30/1

KM: Bet it. Edwin Encarnacion is a force of nature heading into a walk year. Joey Bats still has pop in the stick and Josh Donaldson will see a hell of a lot more pitches with protection like that in the lineup. The rotation is a little old, but again, this is the AL East we’re talking about.

AJ: Forget it. Fuck Canada.

Oakland Athletics: 40/1

KM: Forget it. Ike Davis cannot be a solution for your ballclub, especially if you’re still expecting 450-plus at-bats from someone like Coco Crisp. Scott Kazmir will have to do even more for this team than he did last year when he put 190-plus innings on his arm.

AJ: Forget it. Smug Brad Pitt’s Billy Beane’s got another second-place AL West finish in his crosshairs, which is overachieving and buys him one more year of swamp office as Wolff tries to convince yet another investment group that he can build a stadium on the site of the Hegenburger Road Holiday Inn Express.

Texas Rangers: 40/1

KM: Forget it. The Dallas Morning News will go with wall-to-wall ‘Boys coverage starting in April this year instead of May.

AJ: Forget it. Nothing’s left of the 2010 squad though I may watch The Rookie tonight and change my mind (I know he was a Devil Ray but he made his MLB debut at Arlington.)

Houston Astros: 60/1

KM: Forget it. I understand and still dislike ‘the process’ of dismantling your team to rebuild from the ground up. The Cubs are at least tolerable about the whole business and still act like you should expect to see winning baseball. But the ‘Stros are intentionally selling this goddamn shirt. You’re an asshole if you own or think about owning that shirt and deserve… (Googles ‘Astros’)… Jesus, 310 losses in the last three seasons. Have a little shame.

AJ: Bet it. Though I like them more at 75/1 I actually have them as a dark horse to with the AL West. Things have been quiet in Houston too long. Let them play!

Milwaukee Brewers: 60/1

AJ: Forget it. Nothing for recent retiree/part-time owner Bud Selig to see here but sausage races and a Bob Uecker sighting. At 81, he’s about all the Brewers have left.

KM: Forget it. The shock of falling apart like they did at the end of last year–3-7 in the last 10 games after leading the division almost season–isn’t a stink that washes off with one shower. Ask the Red Sox about the beer n’ chicken hangover.

Tampa Bay Rays: 60/1

AJ: Forget it. Longoria is playing third for the Giants by August.

KM: Forget it. Maddon was the straw that stirred the drink in St. Pete.

Cincinnati Reds: 70/1

AJ: Forget it. Reds of late = bigger let down than Kal Daniels.

KM: Bet it! Joey Votto is definitely going to bounce back because guys in their 30s with massive contracts and debilitating lower body injuries have no problem finding their power again.

Atlanta Braves: 90/1

AJ: Bet it. Forget it. Thought it was 2017. the Braves should be trumped by Flintstone’s and Good Times reruns on the Superstation like the good old days this season.

KM: Forget it. How pumped are you if you’re Jason Heyward right now? Sure, you’ve traded one sweltering, shitty southern town for another, but at least you’re clear of the wreckage at Turner.

Minnesota Twins: 100/1

KM: Forget it. A million times forget it. “Hey, we’re trying to rebuild for the future. Let’s fire one of the three best managers in baseball and try to make these spare parts from the Santana/Liriano administration work again!”

AJ: Bet it. Torii and Mauer mash and young pitching doesn’t hurt. Darkhorse to be 2015’s Royals.

Arizona Diamondbacks: 120/1

AJ: Forget it. If the D-backs and Miami ever contract into a single franchise with three world titles that should’ve never been in baseball in the first place, then I’ll bet on them. Till then…

KM: Forget it. The only thing worse than the Gibson years will be life after the Grind King.

Colorado Rockies: 120/1

AJ: Bet it. The best 120/1 which should be 25/1 long-shot on the board. Forgotten in the top-heavy NL West, they have this thing about winning at home and the current rotation is as good as any in the NL (you heard).

KM: Forget it. For more fun than burning any money whatsoever on the Mile High Meltdown, bring up the Monforts to any actual Rockies fan and watch them blow up like that little kid in Looper.

Philadelphia Phillies: 300/1

AJ: Bet it. I learn every three months or so when I watch Rocky never to count Philly out—especially when they’re 300/1 shots. Easy money.

KM: What the hell, bet it. I enjoy Always Sunny and Ryan Howard’s Subway commercials. It’d be fun to get another 7 years of those two things.

 

Pints and Picks Week 6: Traveling men

Each week DPB’s Kyle Magin and Andrew J. Pridgen will pour on the prose with Pints and Picks™. Who to wager and what to drink while doing it. Here then, is their point-counterpoint for Oct. 11, 2014. Or, if you’re in the car, simply scroll down for the recap (they may be verbose, but it’s better than clicking through a slideshow).

AJ: Well, well, well KM—after starting the season a ghastly 0-for-6 you seem to be on a bigger streak than if David Niven was presenting a golden statuette in front of you …kudos and hopefully your recent success lets the kids out there know that gambling is like life: The only way you can win is if you keep throwing down …eventually you will taste victory (besides, nobody really frowns on bankruptcy anymore, and betting can be a much better ROI than student loans).

With that, I’m most looking forward to your picks this week to see whether you can continue to roll up the Silver State and shake out its coffers like Elon Musk.

As for me, I’d like to take this opportunity to make my first standing wager of the season. It’s actually one I spoke to the first couple weeks and then kind of let slide to the back of the stove while the ramen-with-egg boiled over in front of me. One of my buddies, a Vegas-dwelling tipster and former usher at the Luxor for Carrot Top’s perma-gig (no joke) told me after Cal/Northwestern FCB week one that he was going to put $50 on Cal on the over and let it ride.

This week he’s wagering $827 on Cal (a favorite for the first time this season) -3.5 at home against U-Dub. The over/under is 70-71.5 depending on who writes your ticket, but a 60-58 final score is not implausible. While my buddy plans on breaking the four-figure mark on this bet, the rest of us can sit back and marvel at whether the O/U will crack an NCAA hoops-style three digits for the Golden Bears’ Oct. 24 match-up vs. Oregon at Levi’s Stadium where the San Francisco 49ers of Santa Clara at Great America usually play.

And so it goes, until it becomes Spread Impossible, I say a weekly wager on Cal scoring big while giving up more than your work-league fantasy team is as safe a bet as against Boise State on an away game.

More Week 6-centric picks in a moment, but first I wanted to solicit a little game day advice as well as turn my attention to the oft-overlooked Pints portion of this column.

Saturday, pending the moon rising in the 7th house and Jupiter aligning with Mars, I was slated to attend UCLA/Oregon by way of an Oregon alumni tailgater at noon on the 14th green of the Brookside Golf Club in Pasadena, followed by a 5 p.m. Giants/Dodgers first pitch at Chavez Ravine. Of course, Los Doyers are nothing if not unreliable—refusing to win when you want them to—and so, I’ll be spending the second half of my double-header tucked into a few pints of Ohana #Hashtag Hops IPA (actual name) at Tinhorn Flats on Highland with a couple like-minded fans/friends toasting to the Ducks’ most recent loss and increased hopes for a bid to the Vegas Bowl as we tune in to first pitch from Busch.

My question is this: I’m driving down from the Central Coast Saturday am and picking up (you guessed it: said Vegas buddy) at Bob Hope International in Burbank. At that point we have some decisions to make. The main objective is to:

1) Get to the Rose Bowl tailgater by halftime, maybe
and
2) Not have to drive anywhere

The latter is a toughie in LA.

Do we:

• Park my car at the Burbank airport Marriott and pay the $3.95 for overnight parking (we’ll return in the morning to grab my car/make his flight home), then get an Uber to the Rose Bowl.
• Drive to our motel in Hollywood and park there, then get an Uber to the Rose Bowl.
• Decide to go get food and then go to a liquor store and …”See what happens.”

Personally, I’m always in favor of the “See what happens” plan. But I’ve also found, especially when visiting LA, when I do that I end up waking up the next morning as some version of George Wendt’s quasi-homeless Venice Beach-dwelling informant in Fletch.

The benefit to parking the car at the airport is it REMINDS us that my buddy does, in fact, have a plane to catch the next morning and I, in fact, have a car there.

The benefit to driving the car to the motel and parking is it’s potentially cheaper (free), but also 15 LA miles the opposite way from our Rose Bowl destination from the airport and will probably cause us to go directly to plan See what happens.

I know this isn’t an advice column and really this all goes back to how shitty it must be to go to UCLA and have your parents’ flatscreen in Newport Beach be closer than your home stadium.

If the real goal here is to catch up with some folks and sample a few said pints without the harbinger of having to move my car for the fake LA street sweeper else be towed by 9 p.m.—just about the time I’ve forgotten where in the motel room I put my keys—then what is the most sound plan?

You Make the Call Mr. Magin.

Kyle: AJ, I can’t provide you any guidance on your quest, I’m sorry. I can tell you that Rosa, my waitress at the selfsame Bob Hope Airport Marriott you speak of (I stayed on my friend’s pullout couch there during the 2014 Rose Bowl weekend), makes ace recommendations. Come for the ahi poke, stay for the Stone Ruination IPA.

Speaking of Stone, I’ll be in San Diego this weekend, and last year I enjoyed a rather ridiculous encounter in America’s most beautiful city. My good friend and I were in town for a Friday night Nevada-SDSU game in the endurable Qualcomm Stadium. Since we’re masochists, the next morning we toddled into the Gaslamp’s Tilted Kilt to watch Michigan State play instead of, you know, enjoying the outdoors in America’s most beautiful city.

Twas there we met a guy I’ll call Winston because I can’t remember his name. He was there in an official capacity as a representative of the Poinsettia Bowl, laptop running ESPN3 and taking in the 45 big screens and 35 DDs. Winston’s whole deal besides working as some sort of tax depository at the convention and visitor’s bureau is to help select teams for the bowl game, march in the bowl parade and wear an eminently tasteful fuchsia blazer on gameday. His is a job I’m glad I never knew existed as a child, or I’d be selling real estate in Rosarita today while trying to get like Winston. “This tasteful waterfront features reclaimed driftwood railings, exposed lighting AND a six month protection deal from the Zacatecas Cartel!”

Nick Marshall might want some of that security this weekend as he and his 5-0 Auburn Tigers take on 5-0 Mississippi State in Starkville in a top-3 throwdown. The Bulldogs defense is so good as to be unseemly—they held the Tigers to just 120 yards rushing last year and this season are allowing teams a minuscule 26.5 percent conversion rate on third down. There’s really no give in either defense—Auburn’s defense is ranked third nationally in scoring opportunities at 2.6 points, meaning teams that get a first down inside the Tigers’ 40 might get a field goal. Mississippi State does only slightly worse—18th in the nation—at 5.2 points. The over/under is roundabout 64.5 points in this game, and I’m seriously leaning toward the miserly side.

AJ, I made some hay last week on the little guys (some MACtion and MW football), so I’m going back to the well this week. In American action (sounds so much like a Stalone vehicle), East Carolina moseys into South Florida a 16-point favorite. The SF Bulls actually showed a surprising amount of backbone in a 27-10 defeat at the hands of Wisconsin last week but ECU is averaging 43.6 points per game this season and run their offense like a damn track meet.

Anyway, I’ll noodle those two and we’ll throw it back to you to see if he’s decided to take his summer-weight sleeping bag down south with him.

AJ: Kyle, thanks for the pithy advice on what to do whilst pondering the American Athletic Conference in the immediate sphere of Bob Hope International. One of my favorites of Mr. Hope’s many memorable zingers went a little something like: “You can always tell when a man’s well-informed. His views are pretty much like yours.”

That’s why I’m taking your picks (and your Totino’s-straight-out-the-oven hot hand) to the window this week.

I kind of have a love-hate with your SoCal destination of choice this weekend, San Diego. On the one hand it’s kind of Fresno-by-the-Sea, but with more Tumblr-validated hipsters, faux-bros and military (check those boxes whilst there). On the second hand, there’s the incredible beach and the fish tacos to pair. Not only that, but it’s like: Real Beach and Real Fish Tacos. On the third hand, most of the guys I know still living there have tucked tail and now live in the walled-off stucco-and-granite-countertop’d misery of Scripps Ranch, which means they’ve traded the beach and grilled Mahi Mahi for Target and Baja Fresh …This brings me full-circle to to the whole Fresno-by-the-Sea thing.

The places you actually would want to live in San Diego: Cardiff-by-the-Sea for example, a little post-war working-class bedroom community framed by the shores of the Pacific. Once home to the guys who roofed your home, rooted out your plumbing or tented you for termites—now the average home price for a little 3/2 1,600-square-foot action is in the low seven digits and the kiddies seem to stay out of the streets and beaches, opting to strap the headset on for Titanfall.

San Diego just kind of fits with San Francisco, Seattle, and New York in the narrative of cities that are only anymore a playground for those in financial services or faking their way through venture capital money by way of existing family money and entitlement.

The rest living there just kind of leave me hollow trying to keep up. The notion this American Experiment is simply breaking down into the aspirational 1 percent who maybe have enough to become house-poor and in six figures of credit debt in bergs but stay because they can still look down on the now-working poor who are pushed out of their original neighborhoods by small plates restaurants by those who read blogs all day and work for companies with homepage verbiage like: One brand experience for content, communities, customer engagement on their home pages and can’t explain really what they do or why but they’re there and mixologist was so three years ago, but cocktail apothecary is what’s happening this weekend.

And like, what the fuck?

Since the aspirational 1 percent and the actual 1 percent of these cites controls or at least pays attention to the media/is the only demographic which has time for all the linkbait and the wine and the online shopping and the worrying about whether people drive Subarus and listen to NPR in neighborhoods and the HBO Sundays and the Netflix careening toward $500 for no reason and the vacations planned around Instagram and the wedding registries for couples who’ve already lived together for a decade—it will continue to perpetuate and cities like San Diego will continue to push out whatever and whomever made them have flavor in the first place and you’ll be left with a really pretty fine view that not only nobody can afford, but nobody cares to look at.

OK, sorry about that. You know I’m just jealous that you’ll be drinking a Stone Pale and noshing on a wahoo taco at Blue Water Saturday.

Picks:

• Texas +14 at Oklahoma: Take the Horns, the points as the Sooners looking to use the Red River game to bounce back is never a good idea.

• Auburn -3 at Mississippi State: Auburn has been looking like the only formidable SEC squad this season and wins this by a pair of scores because their defense holds and 5-0 Mississippi state should be 3-2. Agree with Kyle, take the under.

• Arizona +3 vs Southern Cal: MONEYLINE bet. Don’t even think USC is going to come within 14 in Tucson. The Trojan D hasn’t shaken hands with its preseason hype yet this year and RichRod’s got the real thing. Why the Cats aren’t getting respect is simply a product of timezones.

Kyle: AJ, I’m going to join you in the ‘Horns pick and call it good. Safe travels down the coast.

The PnP Recap:

Last week:
AJ: 2-4
Kyle: 2-2

Overall:
AJ: 10 for 15
Kyle: 4 for 10

This week:

AJ:
• Washington (over 70) at Cal
• Texas +14 at Oklahoma
• Auburn -3 at Mississippi State
• Arizona +3 vs. Southern Cal

Kyle:
• Auburn (under 64.5) at Mississippi State
• East Carolina -16 at South Florida
• Texas +14 at Oklahoma